Yup sooo if you haven't noticed already, I will not have a shot at my first ring because of an ugly loss BUT that doesn't mean I'm not gonna write... doesn't mean I'm not almost dead inside... but what the hell might as well finish this blog off...
Speaking of that Altoona/Mean Machine game... talk about a shootout. 4 of the best RB's (Arian Foster, M. Jones-Drew, Michael Turner, LeSean McCoy) scored a TOTAL of 28.80 points. Holy shit... excuse my french... that is horrendous... a real shit show... shit, shit, shit. One of the those guys could double that score in a game alone. Both teams played like the Ice Bashers this week but the senior citizen got just enough to advance to his first championship... what a way to do it too... first embrassing the commish and then edging Altoona. And btw weekly notes, cute little dig on my squad... you will get yours... when? Still a while till the 2012 season... but still. And yes 2012 season because the league will have a lockout in 2011... you can quote me on that one.
And in the other semi-final game, the #1 DIRTY actually scored some points this week and beat the veteran Crazy... never an easy task. Crazy lost Peterson 30 mins before game time and Brett Favre put a delay on Joe Webbs production... so join the loser 3rd place game... we are happy to have ya. And it's pretty redic that this is the first time since 2001 that the #1 seed goes to the Ship... breaking through barriers DIRTY... and I don't want to brag but it was my suggestion to bring them into the league... maybe that was a bad idea... whatevs.
................ ok............. onto my LAST preview of the season.... Fantasy Bowl 10 (Screw roman numerals)
#1 DIRTY HARYY v. #6 Mean Machine: No need to beat around the bush... Machine will win by 20+, first time champ, make me feel even less of a human being, have to listen to the commish all year long about how there are 3 rings in the family and I have 0, and all that jazz. So DIRTY, you would be doing me a favor if you win this game... I got you in so you best not disappoint. Even though I could say I lost to the champ... whoppie do da... doesn't matter when it comes to getting verbally abused by the mighty commish... and I have no comeback and it's rather irritating that I don't. So Machine will win so you can just forget all the stuff I said... a pretty solid first two years by the senior citizen... but you if talked to him you would think he has 3 wins and scores under a 100 every game... such a negative nancy.
And how about the 3rd place game... why not? Many experts thought this would be the Championship matchup... but didn't happen. Of course my team will win because history shows that I live for this game. 2004: 3rd place... 2007: 3rd place... three years later (again) 2010: 3rd place. It's my thing, I'm like the Philly Eagles... btw that game sucked the big one on Sunday I hate DeSean Jackson.
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Well that about wraps it up for the Altoona View. My recaps usually are a buzz kill so it's not really worth doing a Championship recap. A few weeks ago I was having thoughts about not doing this next season because it seems like it got kinda old doing this twice a week. I had fun doing it and I hope you enjoyed reading every week, but I may or may not do a blog next season... if anything the commish and I will tag team a notes/view into one post each week but who knows... got a lot of time before that.
VOTE in the new poll about the blog...
So this is Ryan signing off, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year as well!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Round 2 PREVIEW
Just when you thought I was going to do this preview late tonight or tomorrow morning I came through to do it on the regular day AND earlier than usual. I have 4 hours till my last final so I'm gonna bang this out now... I know audience is jumping with/for (whatever you prefer) joy.
Before I get started, I want to point out Bear Pascoes newest poetry piece.... hats off for this one... and I appreciate you coming out with this after I called you out... "Roses are red, violets are blue, Aaron Rodgers sucks and my wide receivers do too." Short, sweet, to the point but he really meant to say, "Roses are red, violets are blue, Bear Pascoes chocked again and I will never finish in the top 3."....... I'm not a poet and I already knew it!
And how bout those weekly notes? Usually come out before my preview on Wednesday, but give the commish his space guys, he's in a deep depression and can't bare to write about other team's successes...
2 matchups that actually count and two others in that OTHER bracket... but that's meaningless...
Coming out of the We are all noobs that have never won the title minus CrazyFools Region:
#1 DIRTY HARRY v. #5 CrazyFools: It was looking like DIRTY had no shot to make this game, but sure enough the one seed came through and is looking for their first ever championship appearance... thanks to the rmc who were asleep at the wheel all season. BUT in order for that to happen they have to get through the mighty ginger aka CrazyFools who has not one but two titles under his belt. I am sticking to my pre-playoff prediction because I'm the man and predicted this matchup... so CF will win this one but it will be a nail biter fo sho. Those WR's for Crazy could make or shit the bed for him... so be sure to watch out for that this weekend. With this W, the Fools will be that much closer to having a shot at their 3rd title... which would be a league record and it would make the commish shed a tear or two.... but I have already stated that won't happen so the winner of this game will have the pleasure of losing to the yours truly...
And coming out of The Moore family + the 2nd best looking Light (next to Wally's) Region:
#2 Altoona Giants v. #6 Mean Machine: The marquee matchup of the playoffs... father/better looking son will do battle and it shall be intense... I would hook up a video camera that tapes my reactions throughout the Sunday and Monday games but then again I don't want to make myself look like a crazed lunatic... but it's the playoffs and the Giants HAVE NEVER been to the Ship... so that's an excuse to go bonkers. The Machine have that quite cockiness that he would completely deny but it is a true story. Probably the best part of this matchup is that 2/3 Moore's are still alive in the playoffs WHILE that other one has already been eliminated. The odds of the commish sticking around the majority of Sunday's games in the Moore household is about 75 to 1... so place your bets if you like the underdogs... or eliminated dogs for that matter. Both teams in this one have solid matchups so expect a high scoring game... but Altoona will come through by at least 6 points. It would really suck to lose because that would result in the senior citizen (only in his 2nd season) to advance to his first championship before I have and I've been playing for too long... so there's a lot at stake in this one.
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Thanks for reading... I will do a Round 2 RECAP and CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW all in one post next WEDNESDAY, the 22nd (I don't feel like posting on Christmas Eve... because nobody would read).
Before I get started, I want to point out Bear Pascoes newest poetry piece.... hats off for this one... and I appreciate you coming out with this after I called you out... "Roses are red, violets are blue, Aaron Rodgers sucks and my wide receivers do too." Short, sweet, to the point but he really meant to say, "Roses are red, violets are blue, Bear Pascoes chocked again and I will never finish in the top 3."....... I'm not a poet and I already knew it!
And how bout those weekly notes? Usually come out before my preview on Wednesday, but give the commish his space guys, he's in a deep depression and can't bare to write about other team's successes...
2 matchups that actually count and two others in that OTHER bracket... but that's meaningless...
Coming out of the We are all noobs that have never won the title minus CrazyFools Region:
#1 DIRTY HARRY v. #5 CrazyFools: It was looking like DIRTY had no shot to make this game, but sure enough the one seed came through and is looking for their first ever championship appearance... thanks to the rmc who were asleep at the wheel all season. BUT in order for that to happen they have to get through the mighty ginger aka CrazyFools who has not one but two titles under his belt. I am sticking to my pre-playoff prediction because I'm the man and predicted this matchup... so CF will win this one but it will be a nail biter fo sho. Those WR's for Crazy could make or shit the bed for him... so be sure to watch out for that this weekend. With this W, the Fools will be that much closer to having a shot at their 3rd title... which would be a league record and it would make the commish shed a tear or two.... but I have already stated that won't happen so the winner of this game will have the pleasure of losing to the yours truly...
And coming out of The Moore family + the 2nd best looking Light (next to Wally's) Region:
#2 Altoona Giants v. #6 Mean Machine: The marquee matchup of the playoffs... father/better looking son will do battle and it shall be intense... I would hook up a video camera that tapes my reactions throughout the Sunday and Monday games but then again I don't want to make myself look like a crazed lunatic... but it's the playoffs and the Giants HAVE NEVER been to the Ship... so that's an excuse to go bonkers. The Machine have that quite cockiness that he would completely deny but it is a true story. Probably the best part of this matchup is that 2/3 Moore's are still alive in the playoffs WHILE that other one has already been eliminated. The odds of the commish sticking around the majority of Sunday's games in the Moore household is about 75 to 1... so place your bets if you like the underdogs... or eliminated dogs for that matter. Both teams in this one have solid matchups so expect a high scoring game... but Altoona will come through by at least 6 points. It would really suck to lose because that would result in the senior citizen (only in his 2nd season) to advance to his first championship before I have and I've been playing for too long... so there's a lot at stake in this one.
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Thanks for reading... I will do a Round 2 RECAP and CHAMPIONSHIP PREVIEW all in one post next WEDNESDAY, the 22nd (I don't feel like posting on Christmas Eve... because nobody would read).
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Round 1 RECAP
The playoff field has been cut in half this week with only 4 teams left racing toward the title of Fantasy Bowl X. I just want to throw out there that even though I am in the middle of finals week, I am still sticking to my usual schedule of posts because I don't want to disappoint my crowd. Don't worry Mean Machine, my next two finals are on Thursday so this is one of my "few" study breaks.
The #1/#8 curse was looking like it was going to live on for another year UNTIL Matt Schaub went buck wild throwing every ball to Andre Johnson to put the #1 team ahead. In result, DIRTY HARRY avoids the embarrassing upset and is currently sending love letters to Andre Johnson's mansion in Houston. We may never see how "DIRTY" the material in those letters are... and I don't think we want to.
Even though we all love the curse, at least red moon card's farewell tour has come to a screeching halt... he didn't just get booed off stage, he got tomatoes thrown at him. Happy trails, rmc!
How bout those NITTANY LIONS? Two weeks in a row they get romped by the senior of the household. Scoring 87 points last week and a whopping 80 this week. Can you say OUCH!? No 3rd ring this year commish, enjoy polishing your two fake ones right now because it's gonna be a while till you win another. 302.37 - 168.41 was the total score for these two teams in the last 2 weeks... wow, that's comical.
Bear Pascoes where you at!?! 80 points as well for this solid squad. I would love to read a poem from that team right now... at least our eyes won't have to bleed till next season... another non-top 3 finish for the one and done Pascoes.
And last but certainly not least... those Altoona Giants are one step closer to playing in their first ever championship... The red hot Giants scored 150 this week and are willing to play anybody at this point... this city actually has something to root for now... after their high school team went 0-10. BUT the Machine are looking mighty solid as well so I can't wait for that and the preview.
So far my only wrong playoff predicting was the LIONS... I am 3 for 4.
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Be sure to come back FRIDAY morning or THURSAY NIGHT after the game when I PREVIEW ROUND 2... yes Friday because I have 2 exams Thursday and then I'm peacing right after so I won't have time until I get home. Good luck to the remaining 3 plus me.
The #1/#8 curse was looking like it was going to live on for another year UNTIL Matt Schaub went buck wild throwing every ball to Andre Johnson to put the #1 team ahead. In result, DIRTY HARRY avoids the embarrassing upset and is currently sending love letters to Andre Johnson's mansion in Houston. We may never see how "DIRTY" the material in those letters are... and I don't think we want to.
Even though we all love the curse, at least red moon card's farewell tour has come to a screeching halt... he didn't just get booed off stage, he got tomatoes thrown at him. Happy trails, rmc!
How bout those NITTANY LIONS? Two weeks in a row they get romped by the senior of the household. Scoring 87 points last week and a whopping 80 this week. Can you say OUCH!? No 3rd ring this year commish, enjoy polishing your two fake ones right now because it's gonna be a while till you win another. 302.37 - 168.41 was the total score for these two teams in the last 2 weeks... wow, that's comical.
Bear Pascoes where you at!?! 80 points as well for this solid squad. I would love to read a poem from that team right now... at least our eyes won't have to bleed till next season... another non-top 3 finish for the one and done Pascoes.
And last but certainly not least... those Altoona Giants are one step closer to playing in their first ever championship... The red hot Giants scored 150 this week and are willing to play anybody at this point... this city actually has something to root for now... after their high school team went 0-10. BUT the Machine are looking mighty solid as well so I can't wait for that and the preview.
So far my only wrong playoff predicting was the LIONS... I am 3 for 4.
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Be sure to come back FRIDAY morning or THURSAY NIGHT after the game when I PREVIEW ROUND 2... yes Friday because I have 2 exams Thursday and then I'm peacing right after so I won't have time until I get home. Good luck to the remaining 3 plus me.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Round 1 Playoffs PREVIEW
(sing) It's the most wonderfullll time.. of the yearrrrr!!! Nothing beats Christmas time and fantasy football playoffs... a very jolly and intense combo that will sure be a classic this year. Before I preview these round 1 matchups, I just want to throw a congratulations out there to the rest of my playoff mates... as we all race to that fantasy title (and imaginary ring) and the $200 cash prize. I expect friendly competition, good sportsmanship and no bashing of any kind... those rights are held exclusively by the Altoona View... Happy Fantasy Playoffs!....
I have decided to give the two regions in the playoff bracket their very own names. One region will be called the, "We are all noobs that have never won the title minus CrazyFools." And the other region is called, "The Moore family + the 2nd best looking Light (next to Wally's)". Those names are way easier to remember than just simply "North" and "South"... eh?
Let's get going....
We are all noobs that have never won the title minus CrazyFools Region
#1 DIRTY HARRY v. #8 red moon cards: First off, I like how the weekly notes completely just stole my rmc "farewell tour" saying... I guess after 7 years you run out of ideas... but maybe I should be faltered. Speaking of which, rmc is probably the luckiest team to ever make the playoffs on account of them starting at least 2 guys on IR every week. Typically the #8 is on a hot streak at this time and will upset the #1. But that will not be the case this year. Even though DIRTY has a mediocre squad, they will have enough fire power to knock the most active and loyal managers' team out of the playoffs and the league FOR EVAAA... FOR EVAAA (Sandlot... classic). As of right now, rmc has 0 guys starting that are hurt... so this will be a close one. But in his first playoff appearance, HARRY will reverse the curse and advance to round 2. I really hope I don't have to write about rmc's lucky matchup again next week... it's gotta end sooner rather than later when there's $$$ involved.
#4 Bear Pascoes v. #5 CrazyFools: As of right now it looks like the CF are in the last place they would want to be. The Pascoes are too hot to handle right now as they are just lighting up the scoreboard. With favorable matchups for the Pascoes, it is almost stupid to pick against them. BUT that's where I come to play. The experienced CF will win this one and it will be by more than 11 points. Call me crazy (no pun intended actaully) but how good can Lynch and Fred Jackson do week in and week out as your RBs? CF to round 2, Bear eliminated and no shot at their first top 3 finish. BUT if they somehow pull this out, I know a poem is coming.
The Moore family + the 2nd best looking Light (next to Wally's) Region
#3 NITTANY LIONS v. #6 Mean Machine: The rematch of father/son from last week. The LIONS took my advice and took it easy on the Machine in order to stay under his roof for the near future... but maybe they didn't take it easy... maybe they just shit the bed... yeah that's for like it, getting blown out by 57.49 points. BUT the commish has another shot at the only senior cit in the playoffs. Can the Machine beat the mighty LIONS two weeks in a row and have ultimate bragging rights on Mike Jr.?(I know that pisses you off). The answer is no, I can't see Paul Crewe and Co. pulling back to back upsets, as the LIONS will win by a few points and advance to the 2nd round... but it shall be a nail-bitter where the both of them will be freaking out at different times during the matchup... I glad and not glad that I will miss that.
#2 Altoona Giants v. #7 Da MoUnTaInEeRz!!!: That was really annoying to type that name but it's the playoffs so I'm not messing around. The streaking Giants and back in the playoffs for the first time since 2007... wow that was long ago, I even point and laugh at myself from time to time. The Mounts are in familiar territory, where they pretty much live in the playoffs. BUT the seeds will tell the story in this matchup as Altoona will beat Da Mounts by at least 8 points and will advance to the 2nd round... where I will be that much more thrilled on top of just making these playoffs. It will come down to Monday Night though, expect Da Mounts to have a lead until Arian Foster does his thing to lock it up for Altoona.
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Since the playoffs are relatively short... I'm going to predict the playoffs and I hope my result is the truth... and once again... I am being a complete homer to my squad.
Round 1:
DIRTY over red moon
Crazy over Bear
LIONS over Machine
Altoona over Da Mounts
Round 2:
Crazy over DIRTY
Altoona over LIONS (OOOH YEAH)
CHAMPIONSHIP:
Altoona over Crazy for the title of FANTASY BOWL X and the $200
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Good luck to all... be sure to come back on TUESDAY the 14th for the ROUND 1 RECAP
I have decided to give the two regions in the playoff bracket their very own names. One region will be called the, "We are all noobs that have never won the title minus CrazyFools." And the other region is called, "The Moore family + the 2nd best looking Light (next to Wally's)". Those names are way easier to remember than just simply "North" and "South"... eh?
Let's get going....
We are all noobs that have never won the title minus CrazyFools Region
#1 DIRTY HARRY v. #8 red moon cards: First off, I like how the weekly notes completely just stole my rmc "farewell tour" saying... I guess after 7 years you run out of ideas... but maybe I should be faltered. Speaking of which, rmc is probably the luckiest team to ever make the playoffs on account of them starting at least 2 guys on IR every week. Typically the #8 is on a hot streak at this time and will upset the #1. But that will not be the case this year. Even though DIRTY has a mediocre squad, they will have enough fire power to knock the most active and loyal managers' team out of the playoffs and the league FOR EVAAA... FOR EVAAA (Sandlot... classic). As of right now, rmc has 0 guys starting that are hurt... so this will be a close one. But in his first playoff appearance, HARRY will reverse the curse and advance to round 2. I really hope I don't have to write about rmc's lucky matchup again next week... it's gotta end sooner rather than later when there's $$$ involved.
#4 Bear Pascoes v. #5 CrazyFools: As of right now it looks like the CF are in the last place they would want to be. The Pascoes are too hot to handle right now as they are just lighting up the scoreboard. With favorable matchups for the Pascoes, it is almost stupid to pick against them. BUT that's where I come to play. The experienced CF will win this one and it will be by more than 11 points. Call me crazy (no pun intended actaully) but how good can Lynch and Fred Jackson do week in and week out as your RBs? CF to round 2, Bear eliminated and no shot at their first top 3 finish. BUT if they somehow pull this out, I know a poem is coming.
The Moore family + the 2nd best looking Light (next to Wally's) Region
#3 NITTANY LIONS v. #6 Mean Machine: The rematch of father/son from last week. The LIONS took my advice and took it easy on the Machine in order to stay under his roof for the near future... but maybe they didn't take it easy... maybe they just shit the bed... yeah that's for like it, getting blown out by 57.49 points. BUT the commish has another shot at the only senior cit in the playoffs. Can the Machine beat the mighty LIONS two weeks in a row and have ultimate bragging rights on Mike Jr.?(I know that pisses you off). The answer is no, I can't see Paul Crewe and Co. pulling back to back upsets, as the LIONS will win by a few points and advance to the 2nd round... but it shall be a nail-bitter where the both of them will be freaking out at different times during the matchup... I glad and not glad that I will miss that.
#2 Altoona Giants v. #7 Da MoUnTaInEeRz!!!: That was really annoying to type that name but it's the playoffs so I'm not messing around. The streaking Giants and back in the playoffs for the first time since 2007... wow that was long ago, I even point and laugh at myself from time to time. The Mounts are in familiar territory, where they pretty much live in the playoffs. BUT the seeds will tell the story in this matchup as Altoona will beat Da Mounts by at least 8 points and will advance to the 2nd round... where I will be that much more thrilled on top of just making these playoffs. It will come down to Monday Night though, expect Da Mounts to have a lead until Arian Foster does his thing to lock it up for Altoona.
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Since the playoffs are relatively short... I'm going to predict the playoffs and I hope my result is the truth... and once again... I am being a complete homer to my squad.
Round 1:
DIRTY over red moon
Crazy over Bear
LIONS over Machine
Altoona over Da Mounts
Round 2:
Crazy over DIRTY
Altoona over LIONS (OOOH YEAH)
CHAMPIONSHIP:
Altoona over Crazy for the title of FANTASY BOWL X and the $200
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Good luck to all... be sure to come back on TUESDAY the 14th for the ROUND 1 RECAP
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Week 13 RECAP
For 6 teams, that is all she wrote... thanks for playing... good luck next year... BUT KEEP READING THE ALTOONA VIEW... thank you. :)
When it came down to last night's game, playoff spots 1-7 were already automatic... but that 8th spot was up for grabs. One Man, and red moon cards were the only two fighting for that last playoff spot that is pretty much a bye to round 2. We probably won't hear from One Man Wolfpack camp for a while on account of their entire organization being in a deep depression for months to come. Missing the playoffs by ONLY 1.35 points... guess who the lucky S.O.B is... AGAIN!? You guessed it... red moon cards. Why does this crappy team keep scheduling more weeks on their farewell tour? Why won't this end? Stop coming out and playing encores... you will soon be booed off the stage. But ya gotta respect the way the way they got in right? Well One Man wouldn't agree with that.... stat corrections in week 9 is the reason why the cards are magically in that 8th spot. So One Man, you are THAT guy to finish in 9th... this time rmc deserves a threatening wall post/message/punch.
How bout that 30 point comeback by Altoona last night? Not only did they come back, they won by 10... now has the 2nd seed and is looking for the same fortune in the playoffs. DIRTY HARRY is now 10-3 and has that sought after 1 seed. But rmc may not have the guns to let the curse live on. Bear Pascoes is coming into the playoffs on fire... but will this finally be the year where they get a top 3 finish? All playoff teams must be happy that Bear and Crazy face each other round 1... one high scoring team will be eliminated. But that's for the preview.
Only two 4-9 teams to finish the season... Alaska finished in dead last with the rookie Shake N' Bake in 13th. No surprise for Alaska where his average finish is 14th but now his average wins after 2 seasons is 2. So hats off to that fine (dis)organization in Alaska... maybe 13th next season? That may be a stretch.
Lets be honest, these recaps are kind of a buzz kill, wouldn't you say? Next season these recaps will be spiced up... but for now my round 1 playoff preview is going to be off the wall... even better than my regular season previews because now I don't have to mention the bottom feeders anymore. So that is coming Thursday night before the Colts/Titans kickoff. But I will miss making fun of the Ice Bashers from here on out and one of the senior citizens... but one still remains so I'll milk that for all its' worth. And thank the man upstairs that I don't have to type these... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~... for the rest of the season... maybe Viva will change that name for my sake next season.
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So once again, get your behinds back here on THURSDAY NIGHT for the ROUND 1 PLAYOFF PREVIEW.
When it came down to last night's game, playoff spots 1-7 were already automatic... but that 8th spot was up for grabs. One Man, and red moon cards were the only two fighting for that last playoff spot that is pretty much a bye to round 2. We probably won't hear from One Man Wolfpack camp for a while on account of their entire organization being in a deep depression for months to come. Missing the playoffs by ONLY 1.35 points... guess who the lucky S.O.B is... AGAIN!? You guessed it... red moon cards. Why does this crappy team keep scheduling more weeks on their farewell tour? Why won't this end? Stop coming out and playing encores... you will soon be booed off the stage. But ya gotta respect the way the way they got in right? Well One Man wouldn't agree with that.... stat corrections in week 9 is the reason why the cards are magically in that 8th spot. So One Man, you are THAT guy to finish in 9th... this time rmc deserves a threatening wall post/message/punch.
How bout that 30 point comeback by Altoona last night? Not only did they come back, they won by 10... now has the 2nd seed and is looking for the same fortune in the playoffs. DIRTY HARRY is now 10-3 and has that sought after 1 seed. But rmc may not have the guns to let the curse live on. Bear Pascoes is coming into the playoffs on fire... but will this finally be the year where they get a top 3 finish? All playoff teams must be happy that Bear and Crazy face each other round 1... one high scoring team will be eliminated. But that's for the preview.
Only two 4-9 teams to finish the season... Alaska finished in dead last with the rookie Shake N' Bake in 13th. No surprise for Alaska where his average finish is 14th but now his average wins after 2 seasons is 2. So hats off to that fine (dis)organization in Alaska... maybe 13th next season? That may be a stretch.
Lets be honest, these recaps are kind of a buzz kill, wouldn't you say? Next season these recaps will be spiced up... but for now my round 1 playoff preview is going to be off the wall... even better than my regular season previews because now I don't have to mention the bottom feeders anymore. So that is coming Thursday night before the Colts/Titans kickoff. But I will miss making fun of the Ice Bashers from here on out and one of the senior citizens... but one still remains so I'll milk that for all its' worth. And thank the man upstairs that I don't have to type these... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~... for the rest of the season... maybe Viva will change that name for my sake next season.
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So once again, get your behinds back here on THURSDAY NIGHT for the ROUND 1 PLAYOFF PREVIEW.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Week 13 Preview: Put up or STFU
Week 13 is finally upon us... the last week of the regular season... since I like my title so much I will type it again... it is PUT UP or STFU week. I will not explain that abbreviation... I think it's pretty clear. Harsh but true. So who will make the playoffs and who JUST miss!? That's what I'm here for... let's go...
Oh and by the way, the notes already did all the scenarios so yeah I won't bore you by repeating those, I will just throw some teams under the bus and predict winners... you know the drill.
Bear Pascoes v. V~~~ E~~~~: #5/#10 matchup. Even if the Pascoes lose this game, they are most likely in due to their substantial league leading point total... (a total I had the pleasure of hearing at least 4 times on Thanksgiving... it never got old). Who would ever of thought that Viva may be eliminated from playoff contention? It's been a tough year BUT I see this team making the playoffs by the skin of their teeth. Just look at the Pascoes starting lineup and tell me he will win. Viva by 5+... but it would be comical if they win and STILL miss the playoffs... nobody wants to be that #9.
DIRTY HARRY v. Shake N' Bake: Clearly the big ticket game... #1/#13. Shake, enjoy hitting the links next week but DIRTY will join you a week later because a win by DIRTY will send him packing when they face whoever #8 is in the first round. BUT if Shake wins and the LIONS win... the commish will be in that #1 spot... so Shake plays a big role this week... well... not really..... but DIRTY will win and Shake will be in a cat fight with Alaska to see who finishes in dead last.
NITTANY LIONS v. Mean Machine: Father/son battle... #2/#6. Huge, big, ginormous game for Paul Crewe and Co. I hate to say it but the commish will pull through in this one... a lower scoring game than you would expect. But I would take it easy on the old man if I were you, LIONS... you may have to move out asap if you send the Machine packing... just don't flash those two fake rings on your fingers to him... we both know he loves that oh so much. It would be kinda rad (surfer slang) to have all 3 Moore's in the playoffs, so the senior will need some other team losses/point help to make that happen... no pressure.
Wallys Warriors v. red moon cards: I am really rootin' for ya, Wallys. 4 game losing streak, on of the senior citizens, probably will miss the playoffs even with a win, BUT you play the role of major spoiler this week against the luckiest team that doesn't even have a clue. I don't see either team breaking 100... but the Warriors will do just enough to win by a few points and send the cards packing for a one way trip out of this league.
Altoona Giants v. CrazyFools: The commish called this the G.O.T.W... I guess both teams are a pretty big deal. #3/#4 battle purely for playoff positing. I want that home field so I'm not holding the dogs back but I hope that red hair doesn't scare them and make them run away. This will be a solid battle, but let's be serious... of course I'm picking myself... and of course that's being biased... if you had a blog, would you pick against yourself?....think..... didn't think so. Shall be a close win for Altoona and this organization is absolutely thrilled to FINALLY make it back to the playoffs... kinda forget what goes on after this week. But these two teams MAY.. meet again... duh na naaa.
Da Mounts v. Alaska Ice Bashers: The 6-6 Mounties are holding onto the ledge of a bridge at this moment in time. But just ahead in the distance he sees a helicopter covered in ice so he knows it's the Alaska Ice Bashers ready to rescue him and spring them into the playoffs. But will he lend that hand or will they play the role of spoiler and let Da Mounts fall off? Alaska will lend that hand and Da Mounts will be so ever thankful that the random Yahoo! schedule gods matched him up with Alaska in week 13... not only does he have an in with the I.T. guy that controls the clocks on draft pick day, but Brandon Funston as well. Da Mounts by 15+.
GR!!! v. One Man Wolfpack: This game only matters for One Man as he sits nervously in the 8th spot with one game to go. In a perfect world where One Man calls the shots, he will win, remain in 8th and upset the #1 DIRTY in round 1. But this may be another comical result if they win and miss the playoffs... which will happen because I already said Viva will get in... so hope you win with 200, Wolfpack... or you will be in fantasy depression.
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That is all he wrote... good luck to the teams on the fence and enjoy playing your last game of the season to those who get eliminated... but be sure to read the View every week no matter how much in the gutter you are. Come back on TUESDAY for the Week 13 RECAP and playoff things
Oh and by the way, the notes already did all the scenarios so yeah I won't bore you by repeating those, I will just throw some teams under the bus and predict winners... you know the drill.
Bear Pascoes v. V~~~ E~~~~: #5/#10 matchup. Even if the Pascoes lose this game, they are most likely in due to their substantial league leading point total... (a total I had the pleasure of hearing at least 4 times on Thanksgiving... it never got old). Who would ever of thought that Viva may be eliminated from playoff contention? It's been a tough year BUT I see this team making the playoffs by the skin of their teeth. Just look at the Pascoes starting lineup and tell me he will win. Viva by 5+... but it would be comical if they win and STILL miss the playoffs... nobody wants to be that #9.
DIRTY HARRY v. Shake N' Bake: Clearly the big ticket game... #1/#13. Shake, enjoy hitting the links next week but DIRTY will join you a week later because a win by DIRTY will send him packing when they face whoever #8 is in the first round. BUT if Shake wins and the LIONS win... the commish will be in that #1 spot... so Shake plays a big role this week... well... not really..... but DIRTY will win and Shake will be in a cat fight with Alaska to see who finishes in dead last.
NITTANY LIONS v. Mean Machine: Father/son battle... #2/#6. Huge, big, ginormous game for Paul Crewe and Co. I hate to say it but the commish will pull through in this one... a lower scoring game than you would expect. But I would take it easy on the old man if I were you, LIONS... you may have to move out asap if you send the Machine packing... just don't flash those two fake rings on your fingers to him... we both know he loves that oh so much. It would be kinda rad (surfer slang) to have all 3 Moore's in the playoffs, so the senior will need some other team losses/point help to make that happen... no pressure.
Wallys Warriors v. red moon cards: I am really rootin' for ya, Wallys. 4 game losing streak, on of the senior citizens, probably will miss the playoffs even with a win, BUT you play the role of major spoiler this week against the luckiest team that doesn't even have a clue. I don't see either team breaking 100... but the Warriors will do just enough to win by a few points and send the cards packing for a one way trip out of this league.
Altoona Giants v. CrazyFools: The commish called this the G.O.T.W... I guess both teams are a pretty big deal. #3/#4 battle purely for playoff positing. I want that home field so I'm not holding the dogs back but I hope that red hair doesn't scare them and make them run away. This will be a solid battle, but let's be serious... of course I'm picking myself... and of course that's being biased... if you had a blog, would you pick against yourself?....think..... didn't think so. Shall be a close win for Altoona and this organization is absolutely thrilled to FINALLY make it back to the playoffs... kinda forget what goes on after this week. But these two teams MAY.. meet again... duh na naaa.
Da Mounts v. Alaska Ice Bashers: The 6-6 Mounties are holding onto the ledge of a bridge at this moment in time. But just ahead in the distance he sees a helicopter covered in ice so he knows it's the Alaska Ice Bashers ready to rescue him and spring them into the playoffs. But will he lend that hand or will they play the role of spoiler and let Da Mounts fall off? Alaska will lend that hand and Da Mounts will be so ever thankful that the random Yahoo! schedule gods matched him up with Alaska in week 13... not only does he have an in with the I.T. guy that controls the clocks on draft pick day, but Brandon Funston as well. Da Mounts by 15+.
GR!!! v. One Man Wolfpack: This game only matters for One Man as he sits nervously in the 8th spot with one game to go. In a perfect world where One Man calls the shots, he will win, remain in 8th and upset the #1 DIRTY in round 1. But this may be another comical result if they win and miss the playoffs... which will happen because I already said Viva will get in... so hope you win with 200, Wolfpack... or you will be in fantasy depression.
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That is all he wrote... good luck to the teams on the fence and enjoy playing your last game of the season to those who get eliminated... but be sure to read the View every week no matter how much in the gutter you are. Come back on TUESDAY for the Week 13 RECAP and playoff things
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Week 12 Recap
Long time no see everybody... it's been exactly a week today when I last posted... how was the Thanksgiving? Mine was splendid incase you were wondering...
What happened since last Tuesday that is blog worthy? Well the commish and the future Mrs. set a date for their wedding... where 5 managers from this league will be apart of his wedding party... nice little stat, I know.. What else?... Viva Espana ~~~ bitched and moaned about not getting points that he clearly got... as the Da Mounts would say... Here comes the WAAAHMbulance!!!! Next time recheck your lineup Viva... but I appreciate your "Oh shit I'm stupid" post (after the commish took you to school both in your game and his post) trying to clear things up and wishing us all a Happy Thanksgiving... I appreciate that.
OK lets recap this week 12 already...
Only one week remains and ONLY two teams have clinched a playoff spot... this week the LIONS joined the DIRTY in the clinching party. Maybe we should all take notes people... the only 2 that clinched have ALL CAPS SPELLED TEAM NAMES... pretty intimidating. Too bad neither will win the ship...
The Altoona Giants and the Crazies are both 7-5, not officially clinched in Yahoo! terms, but the only way they both don't make it is if everybody below them scores 500 points a piece... but not the Ice Bashers and Shake N' Bake... they would need another 6 games.
Very interesting tid bit... There's a SHOT that all three members of the Light family will not make the playoffs. Wallys pretty much has no chance and he made that aware with his smack talk this week... enjoy your fishin' or skiing... whatever you decide to do... remember to bring the AARP card though... discounts! And the GR!!! has a 0% shot sitting behind Wallys with the same record but less points. But Da Mounts needs to lose for this event to happen... but they are playing the Bashers so this team will most likely make the postseason again... but I'm getting ahead of myself... that's for the preview.
How bout Viva? Sitting in 10th with a 5-7 record. They need some help... at least one or two 6-6 teams probably have to lose for you to make it... but I don't feel like doing all the math and playoff scenarios... that's what tomorrow's weekly notes are for. There's your first positive shout out, notes.
red moon cards. 6-6. Sitting in 9th. Still hanging around... enough is enough... but I don't see them making the playoffs so this should be the 2nd to last time I ever have to mention them...
Five 6-6 teams with one week left... shit is gonna hit the fan so make sure you come back on Thursday night BEFORE the Thursday kickoff for my WEEK 13 PREVIEW
What happened since last Tuesday that is blog worthy? Well the commish and the future Mrs. set a date for their wedding... where 5 managers from this league will be apart of his wedding party... nice little stat, I know.. What else?... Viva Espana ~~~ bitched and moaned about not getting points that he clearly got... as the Da Mounts would say... Here comes the WAAAHMbulance!!!! Next time recheck your lineup Viva... but I appreciate your "Oh shit I'm stupid" post (after the commish took you to school both in your game and his post) trying to clear things up and wishing us all a Happy Thanksgiving... I appreciate that.
OK lets recap this week 12 already...
Only one week remains and ONLY two teams have clinched a playoff spot... this week the LIONS joined the DIRTY in the clinching party. Maybe we should all take notes people... the only 2 that clinched have ALL CAPS SPELLED TEAM NAMES... pretty intimidating. Too bad neither will win the ship...
The Altoona Giants and the Crazies are both 7-5, not officially clinched in Yahoo! terms, but the only way they both don't make it is if everybody below them scores 500 points a piece... but not the Ice Bashers and Shake N' Bake... they would need another 6 games.
Very interesting tid bit... There's a SHOT that all three members of the Light family will not make the playoffs. Wallys pretty much has no chance and he made that aware with his smack talk this week... enjoy your fishin' or skiing... whatever you decide to do... remember to bring the AARP card though... discounts! And the GR!!! has a 0% shot sitting behind Wallys with the same record but less points. But Da Mounts needs to lose for this event to happen... but they are playing the Bashers so this team will most likely make the postseason again... but I'm getting ahead of myself... that's for the preview.
How bout Viva? Sitting in 10th with a 5-7 record. They need some help... at least one or two 6-6 teams probably have to lose for you to make it... but I don't feel like doing all the math and playoff scenarios... that's what tomorrow's weekly notes are for. There's your first positive shout out, notes.
red moon cards. 6-6. Sitting in 9th. Still hanging around... enough is enough... but I don't see them making the playoffs so this should be the 2nd to last time I ever have to mention them...
Five 6-6 teams with one week left... shit is gonna hit the fan so make sure you come back on Thursday night BEFORE the Thursday kickoff for my WEEK 13 PREVIEW
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
2 in 1: Week 11 Recap.. AND.. Week 12 PREview
Since Turkey Day games start at 12:30 on Thursday, I have decided to recap week 11 and preview week 12 all in one big post... I know you all just got a tad more excited than usual... brace yourselves...
So let's get crackin and RECAP Week 11....
Most macthups consisted of high scores this past week, and the one that sticks out like a sore thumb (BTW, I have never pointed out a sore thumb in my time, so I very much dislike the saying but I'll use it anyway) to me is that the Alaska Ice Bashers, that last place team that averages 80 points/week scored 165 BIG ones. Now that seems impossible for them even to reach in their wildest dreams... but it indeed did happen... as funny of a joke it may sound like. BUT it is no joke for Wallys Warrios who might as well stop trying to kick the crap outta something because he keeps swinging and missing badly... now on a 3 game losing streak.
How bout that extra point to get One Man Wolfpack a HUGE win over Viva? Yeah... I would write threatening letters to Mike Prater if that happened to me too... make sure you don't leave a return address though, Viva... just an FYI.
A team clinched this week... yay for DIRTY HARRY... we are all so proud that you will MOST LIKELY be representing the first seed in the playoffs... call that a one and done for their first time.
Bear Pascoes won big over Shake... such a hard deed. I would love to read a poem about them finishing 9th and JUST missing the 2nd round of the playoffs (b/c the 1 seed will lose to the 8... just in case you didn't pick up that last comment I made... for you noobs).
Shake, Bashers and GR!!! all 4-7... pretty much all she wrote... I hope you all had fun because that's what matters most.............. but then again this isn't Conover Elementary School where their motto is, "If you had FUN, you WON."...... far from the truth. At least you get to read the View on a twice a week basis throughout the playoffs.
9 total teams either 6-5 or 5-6.... still a cluster fudge but that shall BURST this upcoming week....
Which will lead me into the WEEK 12 PREVIEW... my public speaking teacher would be proud of my solid transition.
Kinda feels weird doing a 2 for 1... but this is the last time I will have to do it until NEXT Thanksgiving, so enjoy.... and it's not like I plan my writing and come up with stats of the week and those interesting key notes and all that jazz prior to writing... not pointing any fingers...
One Man Wolfpack v. Bear Pascoes: 6/8 matchup that has a lot of meaning behind it. The Pascoes are the best of the 5-6's and a win this week will give them a solid shot at the playoffs since their scoring is on steroids. One Man is very inconsistent... very lucky and very unlucky at the same time. With that said, I'm taking the Pascoes by 10+... this totally ruins my 9th place poem hopes but they don't have any top 3 finishes so no worries there...
Giants Rule!!! v. Shake N' Bake: 4-7 vs. 4-7... 13 vs. 12... why am I talking about this matchup 2nd?... because I want to get it over with... the game means squat (another stupid saying) and the winner will get false hope for any shot at making the postseason... so this is the Pillow Fight of the Week... so whoever breaks a nail first will lose and both teams will stay in the bottom 3... GR!!! by a couple.
DIRTY HARRY v. red moon cards: 1/7 matchup... and I am still stunned that the cards are 6-5... what in tarnation is going on in this league? 3 game winning streak will END against the first place DIRTY... who I think is worse than their record but who am I to sip the Haterade?... they can have the #1 seed... enjoy that one. This loss will put the cards in a bad spot because of their points... so good luck.... in another league next year.
Altoona Giants v. Alaska Ice Bashers: I gotta say I am VERY confident that the Ice Bashers will not put up 165 EVER AGAIN... and that's a promise. They scored 100 more points last week than they did in week 2 where they scored 65... talk about ranges. This is a battle of cousins... where I guess you can say I'm the home team because they are literally coming over for Thanksgiving... so home field advantage... how cute... but even if my team played in Alaska with no warm clothes on and blind folded... I would still rock the casbah (only my older crowd would get that one). I could really regret my 25+ point win prediction but I'm 96.3% sure I won't... the turkey will taste THAT much sweater for Altoona (eating leftovers after the Sunday games).
Wallys Warriors v. CrazyFools: Wallys is on a tough 3 game losing streak sitting in 10th place currently... pretty obvious they need a win NOW. BUT the CF have been hot lately despite a close loss last week so they will git r done and cripple the senior citizens' playoff hopes... (I didn't mean that in a way of making fun of old men at first but now I think it's pretty clever... but hopefully not literally... just the sophmore slump meaning).
Da Mounts v. Mean Machine: The 11th place Machine are really hurting with injuries this week... believe me I have gotten an ear full about every little thing wrong with their players already and it's only Tuesday... so this loss to the Da Mounts may also put the cabosh on another senior cit. BUT I see this game being a toss up... a low scoring game but Da Mounts gets it by 4+.
NITTANY LIONS v. Viva Espana (minus the Spanish accent): The commish at #2 pretty much already clinched so this game is only HUGE for the 9th place Viva who is currently 5-6. They will beat the mighty LIONS by 10+ and will be sitting pretty for a playoff spot... BUT a loss could really hurt being 5-7 with one week to go...
To sum it all up... this week will be bonkers, the standings will change drastically and it shall be a hell of a Thanksgiving week of Football. Have a Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy your time with the families, be safe and god bless. (Yes, even the Altoona View has a warm side).
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Be sure to come back NEXT Tuesday the 30th...(I know you all with be going through withdrawal but try to manage)... for the WEEK 12 RECAP.
So let's get crackin and RECAP Week 11....
Most macthups consisted of high scores this past week, and the one that sticks out like a sore thumb (BTW, I have never pointed out a sore thumb in my time, so I very much dislike the saying but I'll use it anyway) to me is that the Alaska Ice Bashers, that last place team that averages 80 points/week scored 165 BIG ones. Now that seems impossible for them even to reach in their wildest dreams... but it indeed did happen... as funny of a joke it may sound like. BUT it is no joke for Wallys Warrios who might as well stop trying to kick the crap outta something because he keeps swinging and missing badly... now on a 3 game losing streak.
How bout that extra point to get One Man Wolfpack a HUGE win over Viva? Yeah... I would write threatening letters to Mike Prater if that happened to me too... make sure you don't leave a return address though, Viva... just an FYI.
A team clinched this week... yay for DIRTY HARRY... we are all so proud that you will MOST LIKELY be representing the first seed in the playoffs... call that a one and done for their first time.
Bear Pascoes won big over Shake... such a hard deed. I would love to read a poem about them finishing 9th and JUST missing the 2nd round of the playoffs (b/c the 1 seed will lose to the 8... just in case you didn't pick up that last comment I made... for you noobs).
Shake, Bashers and GR!!! all 4-7... pretty much all she wrote... I hope you all had fun because that's what matters most.............. but then again this isn't Conover Elementary School where their motto is, "If you had FUN, you WON."...... far from the truth. At least you get to read the View on a twice a week basis throughout the playoffs.
9 total teams either 6-5 or 5-6.... still a cluster fudge but that shall BURST this upcoming week....
Which will lead me into the WEEK 12 PREVIEW... my public speaking teacher would be proud of my solid transition.
Kinda feels weird doing a 2 for 1... but this is the last time I will have to do it until NEXT Thanksgiving, so enjoy.... and it's not like I plan my writing and come up with stats of the week and those interesting key notes and all that jazz prior to writing... not pointing any fingers...
One Man Wolfpack v. Bear Pascoes: 6/8 matchup that has a lot of meaning behind it. The Pascoes are the best of the 5-6's and a win this week will give them a solid shot at the playoffs since their scoring is on steroids. One Man is very inconsistent... very lucky and very unlucky at the same time. With that said, I'm taking the Pascoes by 10+... this totally ruins my 9th place poem hopes but they don't have any top 3 finishes so no worries there...
Giants Rule!!! v. Shake N' Bake: 4-7 vs. 4-7... 13 vs. 12... why am I talking about this matchup 2nd?... because I want to get it over with... the game means squat (another stupid saying) and the winner will get false hope for any shot at making the postseason... so this is the Pillow Fight of the Week... so whoever breaks a nail first will lose and both teams will stay in the bottom 3... GR!!! by a couple.
DIRTY HARRY v. red moon cards: 1/7 matchup... and I am still stunned that the cards are 6-5... what in tarnation is going on in this league? 3 game winning streak will END against the first place DIRTY... who I think is worse than their record but who am I to sip the Haterade?... they can have the #1 seed... enjoy that one. This loss will put the cards in a bad spot because of their points... so good luck.... in another league next year.
Altoona Giants v. Alaska Ice Bashers: I gotta say I am VERY confident that the Ice Bashers will not put up 165 EVER AGAIN... and that's a promise. They scored 100 more points last week than they did in week 2 where they scored 65... talk about ranges. This is a battle of cousins... where I guess you can say I'm the home team because they are literally coming over for Thanksgiving... so home field advantage... how cute... but even if my team played in Alaska with no warm clothes on and blind folded... I would still rock the casbah (only my older crowd would get that one). I could really regret my 25+ point win prediction but I'm 96.3% sure I won't... the turkey will taste THAT much sweater for Altoona (eating leftovers after the Sunday games).
Wallys Warriors v. CrazyFools: Wallys is on a tough 3 game losing streak sitting in 10th place currently... pretty obvious they need a win NOW. BUT the CF have been hot lately despite a close loss last week so they will git r done and cripple the senior citizens' playoff hopes... (I didn't mean that in a way of making fun of old men at first but now I think it's pretty clever... but hopefully not literally... just the sophmore slump meaning).
Da Mounts v. Mean Machine: The 11th place Machine are really hurting with injuries this week... believe me I have gotten an ear full about every little thing wrong with their players already and it's only Tuesday... so this loss to the Da Mounts may also put the cabosh on another senior cit. BUT I see this game being a toss up... a low scoring game but Da Mounts gets it by 4+.
NITTANY LIONS v. Viva Espana (minus the Spanish accent): The commish at #2 pretty much already clinched so this game is only HUGE for the 9th place Viva who is currently 5-6. They will beat the mighty LIONS by 10+ and will be sitting pretty for a playoff spot... BUT a loss could really hurt being 5-7 with one week to go...
To sum it all up... this week will be bonkers, the standings will change drastically and it shall be a hell of a Thanksgiving week of Football. Have a Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy your time with the families, be safe and god bless. (Yes, even the Altoona View has a warm side).
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Be sure to come back NEXT Tuesday the 30th...(I know you all with be going through withdrawal but try to manage)... for the WEEK 12 RECAP.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Week 11 previeW
It is week 11, only 3 more weeks to jockey into position for the playoffs... if this was horse racing, the Alaska Ice Bashers would be that horse that throws off their jockey at the starting gate and just runs way behind the pack. The rest of the race is a tight one... it shall be a very exciting home stretch...
Time to preview these games... I miss gambling on horses if you haven't noticed...
Bear Pascoes v. Shake N' Bake: Both 4-6 teams... the winner will bury the losers' grave as a 4-7 record will not cut it for the playoffs. Both squads are on a combined 5 game losing streak. I can't believe I held out to the 3rd sentence to mention the Hedge's new name. Sine the real Madison Hedgecock isn't playing this week, this team decides to rename it after the backup. This is a recipe for a 4 game losing streak... good bye Pascoes...
DIRTY HARRY v. Crazy Fools: #1/#3 matchup... the G.O.T.W that the commish is getting wet about. Two words... Mike Vick... Dirty must be having restless sleeps and the cold shivers at 3 a.m. A team that we don't want to see hot at this time of the year will only catch more fire (not his hair)... I see a blowout for the CF.... and the new #1 at weeks end.
One Man Wolfpack v. ~~~ Spanish: Two 5-5 teams... I see One Man in a low scoring result... Kerry Collins is my boy but he's not the answer, Viva. BUT maybe next Thursday One Man will lose after stat corrections... you seem to be good at that.
Altoona Giants v. Mean Machine: Another big 5-5 matchup. But more importantly, this is a father/amazing son matchup. Henry Winkler is in Altoona tonight for some speech that I won't be attending so instead I made him my team picture of when he was the "Fonz" back in his Happy Days, days. The Fonz kills all, esp. Paul Crewe and the Soft Machine. Altoona by 10+.
Wallys WarriorZZZZ v. Alaska Ice Bashers: Wallys has the matchup of his dreams right in time... a 5-5 team in the cluster looking to stay up in the standings. The only chance the Bashers have is if Manning has 50 points, but that would probably only bring his total to 62. So.... Wallys in a 20+ win... and this is the somebody he will finally be able to "kick the crap outta."
NITTANY LIONS v. Da MountZZZZ: A spot that the Mounts are not use to being in... 7th place on a 3 game losing streak with 3 weeks left. The commish somehow is at #2. This will be a high scoring affair... and I see the LIONS winning by at least 5... this will not only help me and the other 5-5's, but it will be 4 in a row for the Mounts and MAYBE just MAYBE they won't have the legs to make the playoffs... but he may be that horse with a hell of a closing kick... we shall see.
GiantZZZ Rule v. red moon cards: Notice how I did all the ZZZZ's in a row... cute, I know. GR!!! is one of the three 4-6's at this point and a loss will most likely result in packing it up early and hitting the golf links with the Hedgecocks... or the Bear Pascoes... whatever. I still am stunned that the red moon cards are 5-5.... thanks One Man Wolf. The result of this game will be stunning however it unfolds. A team that was 0-4 could be 5-6 OR the cards could win their 6th game out of their last 7.... WOW. This is a toss up... I'll take the GR!!! because red moon has a guy on the IR starting at RB... lame.
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There's your preview... good luck and I will see you all on TUESDAY for the WEEK 11 RECAP.
Time to preview these games... I miss gambling on horses if you haven't noticed...
Bear Pascoes v. Shake N' Bake: Both 4-6 teams... the winner will bury the losers' grave as a 4-7 record will not cut it for the playoffs. Both squads are on a combined 5 game losing streak. I can't believe I held out to the 3rd sentence to mention the Hedge's new name. Sine the real Madison Hedgecock isn't playing this week, this team decides to rename it after the backup. This is a recipe for a 4 game losing streak... good bye Pascoes...
DIRTY HARRY v. Crazy Fools: #1/#3 matchup... the G.O.T.W that the commish is getting wet about. Two words... Mike Vick... Dirty must be having restless sleeps and the cold shivers at 3 a.m. A team that we don't want to see hot at this time of the year will only catch more fire (not his hair)... I see a blowout for the CF.... and the new #1 at weeks end.
One Man Wolfpack v. ~~~ Spanish: Two 5-5 teams... I see One Man in a low scoring result... Kerry Collins is my boy but he's not the answer, Viva. BUT maybe next Thursday One Man will lose after stat corrections... you seem to be good at that.
Altoona Giants v. Mean Machine: Another big 5-5 matchup. But more importantly, this is a father/amazing son matchup. Henry Winkler is in Altoona tonight for some speech that I won't be attending so instead I made him my team picture of when he was the "Fonz" back in his Happy Days, days. The Fonz kills all, esp. Paul Crewe and the Soft Machine. Altoona by 10+.
Wallys WarriorZZZZ v. Alaska Ice Bashers: Wallys has the matchup of his dreams right in time... a 5-5 team in the cluster looking to stay up in the standings. The only chance the Bashers have is if Manning has 50 points, but that would probably only bring his total to 62. So.... Wallys in a 20+ win... and this is the somebody he will finally be able to "kick the crap outta."
NITTANY LIONS v. Da MountZZZZ: A spot that the Mounts are not use to being in... 7th place on a 3 game losing streak with 3 weeks left. The commish somehow is at #2. This will be a high scoring affair... and I see the LIONS winning by at least 5... this will not only help me and the other 5-5's, but it will be 4 in a row for the Mounts and MAYBE just MAYBE they won't have the legs to make the playoffs... but he may be that horse with a hell of a closing kick... we shall see.
GiantZZZ Rule v. red moon cards: Notice how I did all the ZZZZ's in a row... cute, I know. GR!!! is one of the three 4-6's at this point and a loss will most likely result in packing it up early and hitting the golf links with the Hedgecocks... or the Bear Pascoes... whatever. I still am stunned that the red moon cards are 5-5.... thanks One Man Wolf. The result of this game will be stunning however it unfolds. A team that was 0-4 could be 5-6 OR the cards could win their 6th game out of their last 7.... WOW. This is a toss up... I'll take the GR!!! because red moon has a guy on the IR starting at RB... lame.
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There's your preview... good luck and I will see you all on TUESDAY for the WEEK 11 RECAP.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Week 10 over and out
This season continues to get crazier week after week.... 7 teams with a 5-5 record.... holy schnikes.
One team jumping with joy after last night's performance is CrazyFools. Mike Vick was 19 points short of beating the Alaska Ice Bashers total FINAL score. I bet Wallys is gonna kick the crap out of himself for trading that guy away... maybe that will get ya back on track.
Speaking of which, Mean Machine is the first ever victor of the Senior Bowl presented by AARP. They were awarded this trophy....
(If they tease you about your age, beat them with your cane)
and a personalized Hoverround Powerchair. Both these teams are only 2 of the 7 teams in the 5-5 cluster fudge.
All hail the commish AGAIN... the NITTANY LIONS won it in a close battle that came down to the very end over yours truly. This snaps Altoona's 3 game winning streak and is now the 2nd best of the seven 5-5 teams. Those 2 shiny rings that the commish flashed were obviously too much for my squad to handle.
Now DIRTY HARRY and the LIONS are 1/2 with a 7-3 record (disrespectively). This means both teams have clinched (not technically, but pretty obvi) so therefore every other team in the league are their biggest fans of these teams to KEEP winning... do us proud... until the playoffs.
Three 4-6 teams with three weeks left = crapping your pants PANIC mode. BUT one win will grant you access to the 5-6 cluster fudge... BUT a loss... you guessed it... shit out of luck.
How bout them Hedges? Three losses in a row = NO POEMS........ my eyes haven't bled in a few weeks... I'm sure you all miss them as well.
red moon cards is 5-5.... redic... I know. He doesn't even have 90 points more than the last place Bashers (3-7)... who is the ONLY team under 1,000..... lets all point and giggle.
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That is all for this week.... be sure to come back THURSDAY night for the WEEK 11 PREVIEW... some very very intriguing games to cover ...
One team jumping with joy after last night's performance is CrazyFools. Mike Vick was 19 points short of beating the Alaska Ice Bashers total FINAL score. I bet Wallys is gonna kick the crap out of himself for trading that guy away... maybe that will get ya back on track.
Speaking of which, Mean Machine is the first ever victor of the Senior Bowl presented by AARP. They were awarded this trophy....
(If they tease you about your age, beat them with your cane)and a personalized Hoverround Powerchair. Both these teams are only 2 of the 7 teams in the 5-5 cluster fudge.
All hail the commish AGAIN... the NITTANY LIONS won it in a close battle that came down to the very end over yours truly. This snaps Altoona's 3 game winning streak and is now the 2nd best of the seven 5-5 teams. Those 2 shiny rings that the commish flashed were obviously too much for my squad to handle.
Now DIRTY HARRY and the LIONS are 1/2 with a 7-3 record (disrespectively). This means both teams have clinched (not technically, but pretty obvi) so therefore every other team in the league are their biggest fans of these teams to KEEP winning... do us proud... until the playoffs.
Three 4-6 teams with three weeks left = crapping your pants PANIC mode. BUT one win will grant you access to the 5-6 cluster fudge... BUT a loss... you guessed it... shit out of luck.
How bout them Hedges? Three losses in a row = NO POEMS........ my eyes haven't bled in a few weeks... I'm sure you all miss them as well.
red moon cards is 5-5.... redic... I know. He doesn't even have 90 points more than the last place Bashers (3-7)... who is the ONLY team under 1,000..... lets all point and giggle.
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That is all for this week.... be sure to come back THURSDAY night for the WEEK 11 PREVIEW... some very very intriguing games to cover ...
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Week 10 preview
The start of Thursday games tonight is throwing off my whole schedule... but the good thing is you all get to read my nice and conservative writing a day earlier... life is great.
We got some block buster type games this week so here we go....
Oh and yeah I ate the McRib.... it was mediocre... ok....
Altoona Giants v. NITTANY LIONS: What is there not to say about this rivalry matchup? We love each other oh so much, we root for each other every week, we are a shoulder to cry on when one of us is on a bad losing streak or getting picked on through mean poems. Ok enough with the Nickelodeon jazz... this game is huge... especially this year. #2 vs. #3, the taller one vs. the shorter one, the blog that people actually read vs. the powderpuff weekly notes, it's the Altoona Giants vs. the NITTANY LIONS... hide yo wife, hide yo kids.. blah blah blah. I see a very high scoring affair coming down to the Monday Night game... and I shall take this by a few points and extend my winning streak to 4 games. I applaud the commish for making our matchup the G.O.T.W, but there will no soup for you!
Giants Rule!!!!!! v. CrazyFools: Very interesting 5/12 matchup where the teams are only one win apart. If this were the NCAA bball tourney, I would give the 12 seed the nod, but this is fantasy football... duh. A win would give the GR!!! a great shot at the playoffs but he's got a weak lineup this week so the CF will climb up in the standings after a 15+ point victory.
Shake N' Bake v. One Man Wolfpack: By far the most intriguing game of the week... this blows away the Altoona/NITTANY matchup... na just pulling your leg... (ha ha). This is a very weak matchup... a team that lost by stat corrections today to a bottom feeder and another team that is in a comma 78% of the time. This is a toss up but I'm giving the edge to One Man who will be looking for a huge rebound win.
Wallys Warriors v. Mean Machine: THE SENIOR CITIZEN BOWL Presented by AARP: This matchup consists of two ex baseball coaches who sat in the dugout together for many years... well Wallys was taking pictures of pretty birds and Mean Machine was mad at his son for being so perfect... ah the good old days. The 120 years between the two (I'm probably not exaggerating) will shape up to be a great matchup. The Machine are in DESPERATE need of a win... 4 losses in a row... in 10th place... right ahead of Shake N' Bake. Wally's is in 4th but just like many other games... only 1 win is the difference b/w (between... I almost forgot this was the old man matchup) these two. Machine has a stacked lineup this week and I see them getting a much needed win... BUT a loss will make it 5 in a row and pretty much shit out of luck.... no pressure.
Madison Hedgecocks v. red moon cards: Lucky lucky lucky lucky... LUCKY win by the cards today through stat corrections. No dice this week because Langston Hughes (I ran out of poet names) will blow this team out of the water and the Hedges will be .500 and right in the thick of things... but maybe if red moon has a full lineup... nah forget that.
DIRTY HARRY v. Alaska Ice Bashers: #1 vs. #14. The last time a 1/14 went head to head the commish went down to the GR!!! But this is a different story... Alaska is the only 3 win team left and DIRTY has been exactly what his name says up to this point. Even weaker roster than usual for the Bashers will result in a 30+ point loss. R.I.P. Bashers... Dirty will remain in first.
Da Mounts v. Viva ~~~~: 6/8 matchup... both strong teams. I see Viva taking this one and making 5-5 the majority of the cluster f***.
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That is all... just a reminder, the preview will be out around this time every THURSDAY until the end of the Thursday games. Come back TUESDAY for the RECAP of week 10,
We got some block buster type games this week so here we go....
Oh and yeah I ate the McRib.... it was mediocre... ok....
Altoona Giants v. NITTANY LIONS: What is there not to say about this rivalry matchup? We love each other oh so much, we root for each other every week, we are a shoulder to cry on when one of us is on a bad losing streak or getting picked on through mean poems. Ok enough with the Nickelodeon jazz... this game is huge... especially this year. #2 vs. #3, the taller one vs. the shorter one, the blog that people actually read vs. the powderpuff weekly notes, it's the Altoona Giants vs. the NITTANY LIONS... hide yo wife, hide yo kids.. blah blah blah. I see a very high scoring affair coming down to the Monday Night game... and I shall take this by a few points and extend my winning streak to 4 games. I applaud the commish for making our matchup the G.O.T.W, but there will no soup for you!
Giants Rule!!!!!! v. CrazyFools: Very interesting 5/12 matchup where the teams are only one win apart. If this were the NCAA bball tourney, I would give the 12 seed the nod, but this is fantasy football... duh. A win would give the GR!!! a great shot at the playoffs but he's got a weak lineup this week so the CF will climb up in the standings after a 15+ point victory.
Shake N' Bake v. One Man Wolfpack: By far the most intriguing game of the week... this blows away the Altoona/NITTANY matchup... na just pulling your leg... (ha ha). This is a very weak matchup... a team that lost by stat corrections today to a bottom feeder and another team that is in a comma 78% of the time. This is a toss up but I'm giving the edge to One Man who will be looking for a huge rebound win.
Wallys Warriors v. Mean Machine: THE SENIOR CITIZEN BOWL Presented by AARP: This matchup consists of two ex baseball coaches who sat in the dugout together for many years... well Wallys was taking pictures of pretty birds and Mean Machine was mad at his son for being so perfect... ah the good old days. The 120 years between the two (I'm probably not exaggerating) will shape up to be a great matchup. The Machine are in DESPERATE need of a win... 4 losses in a row... in 10th place... right ahead of Shake N' Bake. Wally's is in 4th but just like many other games... only 1 win is the difference b/w (between... I almost forgot this was the old man matchup) these two. Machine has a stacked lineup this week and I see them getting a much needed win... BUT a loss will make it 5 in a row and pretty much shit out of luck.... no pressure.
Madison Hedgecocks v. red moon cards: Lucky lucky lucky lucky... LUCKY win by the cards today through stat corrections. No dice this week because Langston Hughes (I ran out of poet names) will blow this team out of the water and the Hedges will be .500 and right in the thick of things... but maybe if red moon has a full lineup... nah forget that.
DIRTY HARRY v. Alaska Ice Bashers: #1 vs. #14. The last time a 1/14 went head to head the commish went down to the GR!!! But this is a different story... Alaska is the only 3 win team left and DIRTY has been exactly what his name says up to this point. Even weaker roster than usual for the Bashers will result in a 30+ point loss. R.I.P. Bashers... Dirty will remain in first.
Da Mounts v. Viva ~~~~: 6/8 matchup... both strong teams. I see Viva taking this one and making 5-5 the majority of the cluster f***.
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That is all... just a reminder, the preview will be out around this time every THURSDAY until the end of the Thursday games. Come back TUESDAY for the RECAP of week 10,
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Week 9 reeecap
9 weeks down... 4 to go... and it looks as if only 2 teams are done at this point.
The Pillow Fight of the Year was a complete blowout... talk about an embarrassment for the one and only Alaska Ice Bashers... 71 points. Now in dead last with the fewest points in the league I hearby declare the 3-6 Bashers S.O.L (shit out of luck... for you seniors who don't know abbreviations). Maybe they will get another win before years end but even if they don't who honestly thought they would win 3 times? I feel bad for whoever lost to this minor league team... I have yet to face them but I'm not worried. Tedy Brusci would have helped that defense out for sure.
All hail the commish... thy won their very own G.O.T.W.... but you better make this weeks matchup against Altoona the feature or else.... but that's for the preview... I'm getting ahead of myself... I'm a tad gitty about that matchup with the one and only. Wallys put up the 2nd most points this week but no dice... I mean it must make you want to punch a pillow... or somethin' furry that a team won with 100 points.
Speaking of winning with 100 points... One Man Wolfpack is the luckiest S.O.B. of the week. red moon started not 1, not 2, but THREE INJURED guys and ONLY lost by 4 points. What I don't get is he made moves on Sunday but didn't put anybody in. Maybe he wanted to make it look like he cared so he could avoid embarrassment... but the View is smarter than that rmc... shame shame shame.... you deserve a timeout... or a suspension... or a ban... forever.... but you know the drill... you didn't hear that from me. One Man, I think you owe rmc a wall post or a poke or something on facebook to thank him for not embarrassing you... at least not completely.
There are five 5-4 teams and five 4-5 teams with four weeks left.... still a major cluster f***... anybody has a chance minus those two teams in the cellar that I have already mentioned too much.
Mean Machine... 4 losses in a row... time to panic... are the NITTANY LIONS slipping something in your food and or drinks... I'd watch out if I were you. And Giants Rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 wins in a row... but still in 12th. Oh and btw... Altoona Giants 3 in a row... now all the way up to #3... nbd (no big deal... for our older readers once again).
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Now listen up... or read up... be sure to come back on THURSDAY night for the WEEK 10 PREVIEW. Thursday Night games start this week, therefore my preview shall be out prior to the kickoff.
The Pillow Fight of the Year was a complete blowout... talk about an embarrassment for the one and only Alaska Ice Bashers... 71 points. Now in dead last with the fewest points in the league I hearby declare the 3-6 Bashers S.O.L (shit out of luck... for you seniors who don't know abbreviations). Maybe they will get another win before years end but even if they don't who honestly thought they would win 3 times? I feel bad for whoever lost to this minor league team... I have yet to face them but I'm not worried. Tedy Brusci would have helped that defense out for sure.
All hail the commish... thy won their very own G.O.T.W.... but you better make this weeks matchup against Altoona the feature or else.... but that's for the preview... I'm getting ahead of myself... I'm a tad gitty about that matchup with the one and only. Wallys put up the 2nd most points this week but no dice... I mean it must make you want to punch a pillow... or somethin' furry that a team won with 100 points.
Speaking of winning with 100 points... One Man Wolfpack is the luckiest S.O.B. of the week. red moon started not 1, not 2, but THREE INJURED guys and ONLY lost by 4 points. What I don't get is he made moves on Sunday but didn't put anybody in. Maybe he wanted to make it look like he cared so he could avoid embarrassment... but the View is smarter than that rmc... shame shame shame.... you deserve a timeout... or a suspension... or a ban... forever.... but you know the drill... you didn't hear that from me. One Man, I think you owe rmc a wall post or a poke or something on facebook to thank him for not embarrassing you... at least not completely.
There are five 5-4 teams and five 4-5 teams with four weeks left.... still a major cluster f***... anybody has a chance minus those two teams in the cellar that I have already mentioned too much.
Mean Machine... 4 losses in a row... time to panic... are the NITTANY LIONS slipping something in your food and or drinks... I'd watch out if I were you. And Giants Rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 wins in a row... but still in 12th. Oh and btw... Altoona Giants 3 in a row... now all the way up to #3... nbd (no big deal... for our older readers once again).
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Now listen up... or read up... be sure to come back on THURSDAY night for the WEEK 10 PREVIEW. Thursday Night games start this week, therefore my preview shall be out prior to the kickoff.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Week 9er Preview
Four teams are 5-3... six are 4-4... and four are 3-5... but who gives a shit, the McRib is BACK! (*barfs*)
Let's get right to it...
NITTANY LIONS v. Wallys Warriors: I congratulate the commish on FINALLY making his matchup the GOTW. I am sticking to my word and giving you that much earned standing ovation... bravo, you became more of a man. But instead of focusing on his opponent, the notes clearly state that the LIONS are more interested in the new "McRib" (limited time only) sandwich at McDonalds. My sources tell me the commish will be on the road all this week touring every McDonalds in Monmouth and Ocean County to try this crap on a bun... and he will post his grades in the next edition of the weekly notes... (maybe that will give those things some life... OOHH!) Who knows if he will be back in time to set his 3 game losing streak lineup. The Warriors are a different story, I guess he took too long of a nap last week against Altoona because he wasn't able to enjoy his pancake breakfast on Tuesday morning. But when Wally's gives the commish his 4th straight loss this week, he will be "kickin' the crap outta somethin' furry".... beware house pet of the Light family.
The commish in his immediate future:
Madison Hedgecocks v. Crazy Fools: Edgar Allan Poe takes on the Crazies in a very interesting 5/8 battle. Both teams have full lineups ready to do battle but I'm giving the Fools the edge in this high scoring affair. By the way... is anybody else having Hedgecock poem withdrawal?... I mean sometimes I shiver before I fall asleep, 3 weeks is too long without a new piece. I probably just upset the whole league for reminding him... my bad.
Giants Rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! v. Alaska Ice Bashers: The matchup I have been looking forward to all season long. But most of the fun has been taken out of it since both teams have 3 wins a piece. So thanks for being major buzz kills... but this still is the Pillow Fight of week... hell it's still the Pillow Fight of the Year.... 13 vs 14. I like Alaska in a close one...so this loss will keep the GR!!! in the cellar... maybe you can get another 4th place finish next season.
One Man Wolfpack v. red moon cards: Stephan Logan.... yeah you got a shot this week red moon cards. This blowout loss to One Man will most likely be the nail in the coffin for any playoff chances for the cards' farewell season. Yeah you didn't hear that here... or maybe One Man likes the doghouse and will lose and give the cards some life... you neva know.
Altoona Giants v. Da Mounts! (Only one exclamation point, yeah how good will you be now with two less?): The 2nd place Mounts are looking to stay in the top 2 of the league but I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news... Altoona (currently holding the longest winning streak of 2 games in the league) will continue to only move up as times are looking much better... but once again, not the city... that would be the Aapocalypse... not even the sign of it. A high scoring game but the Giants by 10+.
DIRTY HARRY v. Mean Machine: It's time to wake up out of your deep sleep and get out of the chair Paul Crewe because you're falling faster than the NITTANY LIONS. Harry is currently atop the league but because of a recent transaction, I see the Machine getting a much needed win. This will make the league even more of a cluster f***.... Burt Reynolds > Clint Eastwood
Shake N' Bake v. Live Spain (a translation brought to you by the Alaska Ice Bahsers): I find it kinda crazy that Viva is a slot below his opponent in the standings even though he has 100+ more points... but that's fantasy football... too bad for you and lucky for the other guy. I see ~~~ winning this week in a blowout but just imagine how screwed this team would be if they fall to 3-6... ouch. But think happy thoughts Vivia...
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That is all for me this week... good luck and come back TUESDAY for the WEEK 9 RECAP
Let's get right to it...
NITTANY LIONS v. Wallys Warriors: I congratulate the commish on FINALLY making his matchup the GOTW. I am sticking to my word and giving you that much earned standing ovation... bravo, you became more of a man. But instead of focusing on his opponent, the notes clearly state that the LIONS are more interested in the new "McRib" (limited time only) sandwich at McDonalds. My sources tell me the commish will be on the road all this week touring every McDonalds in Monmouth and Ocean County to try this crap on a bun... and he will post his grades in the next edition of the weekly notes... (maybe that will give those things some life... OOHH!) Who knows if he will be back in time to set his 3 game losing streak lineup. The Warriors are a different story, I guess he took too long of a nap last week against Altoona because he wasn't able to enjoy his pancake breakfast on Tuesday morning. But when Wally's gives the commish his 4th straight loss this week, he will be "kickin' the crap outta somethin' furry".... beware house pet of the Light family.
The commish in his immediate future:
Madison Hedgecocks v. Crazy Fools: Edgar Allan Poe takes on the Crazies in a very interesting 5/8 battle. Both teams have full lineups ready to do battle but I'm giving the Fools the edge in this high scoring affair. By the way... is anybody else having Hedgecock poem withdrawal?... I mean sometimes I shiver before I fall asleep, 3 weeks is too long without a new piece. I probably just upset the whole league for reminding him... my bad.
Giants Rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! v. Alaska Ice Bashers: The matchup I have been looking forward to all season long. But most of the fun has been taken out of it since both teams have 3 wins a piece. So thanks for being major buzz kills... but this still is the Pillow Fight of week... hell it's still the Pillow Fight of the Year.... 13 vs 14. I like Alaska in a close one...so this loss will keep the GR!!! in the cellar... maybe you can get another 4th place finish next season.
One Man Wolfpack v. red moon cards: Stephan Logan.... yeah you got a shot this week red moon cards. This blowout loss to One Man will most likely be the nail in the coffin for any playoff chances for the cards' farewell season. Yeah you didn't hear that here... or maybe One Man likes the doghouse and will lose and give the cards some life... you neva know.
Altoona Giants v. Da Mounts! (Only one exclamation point, yeah how good will you be now with two less?): The 2nd place Mounts are looking to stay in the top 2 of the league but I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news... Altoona (currently holding the longest winning streak of 2 games in the league) will continue to only move up as times are looking much better... but once again, not the city... that would be the Aapocalypse... not even the sign of it. A high scoring game but the Giants by 10+.
DIRTY HARRY v. Mean Machine: It's time to wake up out of your deep sleep and get out of the chair Paul Crewe because you're falling faster than the NITTANY LIONS. Harry is currently atop the league but because of a recent transaction, I see the Machine getting a much needed win. This will make the league even more of a cluster f***.... Burt Reynolds > Clint Eastwood
Shake N' Bake v. Live Spain (a translation brought to you by the Alaska Ice Bahsers): I find it kinda crazy that Viva is a slot below his opponent in the standings even though he has 100+ more points... but that's fantasy football... too bad for you and lucky for the other guy. I see ~~~ winning this week in a blowout but just imagine how screwed this team would be if they fall to 3-6... ouch. But think happy thoughts Vivia...
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That is all for me this week... good luck and come back TUESDAY for the WEEK 9 RECAP
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Week 8... peace
Another very very interesting week in the league... it sure is shaping up to be a memorable 10th anniversary season. (That might of sounded like it belongs in the weekly notes... am I getting soft?)
Anyways... let's get right to it...
I find it baffling that only TWO games separate 1st and last place... I mean O...M...G. Now the points are a big difference but that's besides the point. I can't believe I'm saying it but EVERYBODY has a chance this season... at this point with week 9 ahead. Yes even you Ice Bashers and Giants Rule... but not you red moon cards.
It looks like the commish has come back to reality after a 5-0 start... make that a THREE GAME LOSING streak. Same for the Mean Machine... 3 losses in a row and now out of the top 8. Panic mode in these two camps? Good thing I am not in that household because I don't want that 0-6 combined record to rub off on the Altoona Giants who is climbing up in the standings... watch OUT.
How bout Alaska knocking of that amazing team called the Hedgecocks... where's the poem now Langston Hughes? (Didn't think I knew more than one poet now did ya?) Even though the Bashers have an astonishing 3 wins... they still sit in 13th but at this point you can throw out the numbers. Soon enough this cluster fuck (excuse my french) will break up and good teams and crap teams will start to distance themselves. BUT that could be ANYBODY at this point. These next 5 weeks are gonna be delightful for some (8 people) but so painful for others (5 people) 8+5=13... I left one team out (pretty obvi.) and they will remain nameless because honestly they have exceeded all expectations and they must be patting themselves on the back even if they lose out.
If the playoffs were to start today, the CrazyFools would be in the 8 slot and we all know what that spot did for him last season... but even I can't make predictions at this point because when do you ever see these standings that we currently have now?... I mean throw a frickin' bone my way...
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That's all for me today, yeah I know short recap oh well... it just means the WEEK 9 PREVIEW will be THAT much better on FRIDAY! Ya'll come back now.
Anyways... let's get right to it...
I find it baffling that only TWO games separate 1st and last place... I mean O...M...G. Now the points are a big difference but that's besides the point. I can't believe I'm saying it but EVERYBODY has a chance this season... at this point with week 9 ahead. Yes even you Ice Bashers and Giants Rule... but not you red moon cards.
It looks like the commish has come back to reality after a 5-0 start... make that a THREE GAME LOSING streak. Same for the Mean Machine... 3 losses in a row and now out of the top 8. Panic mode in these two camps? Good thing I am not in that household because I don't want that 0-6 combined record to rub off on the Altoona Giants who is climbing up in the standings... watch OUT.
How bout Alaska knocking of that amazing team called the Hedgecocks... where's the poem now Langston Hughes? (Didn't think I knew more than one poet now did ya?) Even though the Bashers have an astonishing 3 wins... they still sit in 13th but at this point you can throw out the numbers. Soon enough this cluster fuck (excuse my french) will break up and good teams and crap teams will start to distance themselves. BUT that could be ANYBODY at this point. These next 5 weeks are gonna be delightful for some (8 people) but so painful for others (5 people) 8+5=13... I left one team out (pretty obvi.) and they will remain nameless because honestly they have exceeded all expectations and they must be patting themselves on the back even if they lose out.
If the playoffs were to start today, the CrazyFools would be in the 8 slot and we all know what that spot did for him last season... but even I can't make predictions at this point because when do you ever see these standings that we currently have now?... I mean throw a frickin' bone my way...
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That's all for me today, yeah I know short recap oh well... it just means the WEEK 9 PREVIEW will be THAT much better on FRIDAY! Ya'll come back now.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Week 8 preview (running out of stupid titles)
Week 8 is here so lets get to all these matchups no matter how interesting or boring they may be...
Wallys Warriors v. Da Mounts (ZZZ v. ZZZ!!!): Interesting father-son battle that won't result in a blowout like the one Wallys put on his other son... the son that the NITTANY LIONS lost too (and me), the last place GR!!!. I like Wallys in this tight battle between loving family members because his new smack talk, "After my nap, I'm kickin the crap outta somebody and eatin' some pancakes."... is actually pretty intimidating. My sources spotted him in a nearby IHOP last weekend at the All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes event and word is that he ate 9 pancakes all by his lonesome. They also told me nobody was at the table with him but he had his laptop and we can assume he was adding/dropping as many players as he had pancakes during his meal.
Crazy Fools v. One Man Wolfpack: A battle of superstar QB's in Matt Moore and Matt Cassel. This shall be a low scoring affair but this win will have meaning for whoever gets it... can a 3-5 Crazy Fools make the playoffs? One Man would like him to think that after a close W. ... (Yes One Man, I picked YOU to win)
Altoona Giants v. ~~~~~: By this time, I think you all get who squiggles mcgee is so I don't have to even type his stupid spanish name anymore. Battle of 8 vs. 9, it will be a good one indeed but of course Altoona will win... he is the second victim of the Altoona Comeback tour... coming to a city near you... NEXT WEEK and so on.... (get it... like when I play YOU...). Tickets are going fast.
Giants Rule b/c they beat the commish!!! v. Mean Machine: GR!!! posted some ballsy smack last week before he beat the #1 team saying "Comeback starts this week." He had his best week but don't look for this to continue. We are now drug testing in the league and he obviously was juicing his players to practically double his average score. So get your pee cups ready GR!!! because you got no shot against Paul Crewe and the Mean Machine. MM has lost 2 in a row but this team shall step it up and win in blowout fashion... unless he's sleeping in his chair again... but I wouldn't count on that this time.
Madison Hedgecocks v. Alaska Ice Bashers: Cuz vs. cuz. Which cuz will win? I think I'm cool typing "cuz" because they used that word in the classic show "Rocket Power." So automatically I'm cool. Anyways... this actually is shaping up to be a pretty solid game. The Bashers have a slight pulse and a win over Shakespeare (far from it) this week will catapult him right into the race. BUT I am sorry people of Alaska, I see Hedge winning by 10+... he will rack up wins until it really counts... so have fun Hedge.
red moon cards v. Shake N' Bake: 11 vs. 12. I can't believe the winner of this game will have 4 wins... kinda crazy... but I see Shake taking this but it will be a soft powder-puff type low scoring game. So yeah I guess you can call this the Pillow Fight of the Week.
NITTANY LIONS v. DIRTY HARRY: The only capital letter teams in the league (o.m.g.) The commish is SO convinced he has a shot in this matchup. This will be the LION'S 3rd straight loss and it will also be panic mode for the 2 time champion (we are all so proud of your rings). DIRTY is just too powerful and will contend for 1st place at weeks end.
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Thanks for reading... I hope you enjoyed... come back TUESDAY for the RECAP of week 8.
Wallys Warriors v. Da Mounts (ZZZ v. ZZZ!!!): Interesting father-son battle that won't result in a blowout like the one Wallys put on his other son... the son that the NITTANY LIONS lost too (and me), the last place GR!!!. I like Wallys in this tight battle between loving family members because his new smack talk, "After my nap, I'm kickin the crap outta somebody and eatin' some pancakes."... is actually pretty intimidating. My sources spotted him in a nearby IHOP last weekend at the All-You-Can-Eat Pancakes event and word is that he ate 9 pancakes all by his lonesome. They also told me nobody was at the table with him but he had his laptop and we can assume he was adding/dropping as many players as he had pancakes during his meal.
Crazy Fools v. One Man Wolfpack: A battle of superstar QB's in Matt Moore and Matt Cassel. This shall be a low scoring affair but this win will have meaning for whoever gets it... can a 3-5 Crazy Fools make the playoffs? One Man would like him to think that after a close W. ... (Yes One Man, I picked YOU to win)
Altoona Giants v. ~~~~~: By this time, I think you all get who squiggles mcgee is so I don't have to even type his stupid spanish name anymore. Battle of 8 vs. 9, it will be a good one indeed but of course Altoona will win... he is the second victim of the Altoona Comeback tour... coming to a city near you... NEXT WEEK and so on.... (get it... like when I play YOU...). Tickets are going fast.
Giants Rule b/c they beat the commish!!! v. Mean Machine: GR!!! posted some ballsy smack last week before he beat the #1 team saying "Comeback starts this week." He had his best week but don't look for this to continue. We are now drug testing in the league and he obviously was juicing his players to practically double his average score. So get your pee cups ready GR!!! because you got no shot against Paul Crewe and the Mean Machine. MM has lost 2 in a row but this team shall step it up and win in blowout fashion... unless he's sleeping in his chair again... but I wouldn't count on that this time.
Madison Hedgecocks v. Alaska Ice Bashers: Cuz vs. cuz. Which cuz will win? I think I'm cool typing "cuz" because they used that word in the classic show "Rocket Power." So automatically I'm cool. Anyways... this actually is shaping up to be a pretty solid game. The Bashers have a slight pulse and a win over Shakespeare (far from it) this week will catapult him right into the race. BUT I am sorry people of Alaska, I see Hedge winning by 10+... he will rack up wins until it really counts... so have fun Hedge.
red moon cards v. Shake N' Bake: 11 vs. 12. I can't believe the winner of this game will have 4 wins... kinda crazy... but I see Shake taking this but it will be a soft powder-puff type low scoring game. So yeah I guess you can call this the Pillow Fight of the Week.
NITTANY LIONS v. DIRTY HARRY: The only capital letter teams in the league (o.m.g.) The commish is SO convinced he has a shot in this matchup. This will be the LION'S 3rd straight loss and it will also be panic mode for the 2 time champion (we are all so proud of your rings). DIRTY is just too powerful and will contend for 1st place at weeks end.
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Thanks for reading... I hope you enjoyed... come back TUESDAY for the RECAP of week 8.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Week 7 Recap & MID-SEASON GRADES
To quote the commish himself, "It was bizarro world" this week in the league... with the #14 beating #1 (NITTANY LIONS, the commish, Michael Moore... welcome to the loser club alongside your better looking and taller younger brother), and #12 and #11 winning as well. The Bashers would have made it even more of a bizarre week but somehow they managed to lose after being up a ton after Sunday. I predicted 71 points for Alaska, but they go out and score a season-high WITHOUT Peyton Manning. I am such a physic that I predicted that knowing it was going to be the bizarro week... so props to me. The Bashers told me he personally called Tom Coughlin last night during the game to tell him to run the ball a bit more... Couglin said and I quote, "Nobody likes Alaska you jack-wagon... go play pond hockey and never call me again... and by the way, Tedy Bruschi... really?!?" Harsh Tom, but he must have stubbed his toe or something right before the call... that shit hurts.
I'm trying to keep this recap short so I can get to the grades... (so don't get upset if you get short changed... you will in the grades), but here are some note worthy notes... the #1 team in the league lost 2 IN A ROW now... he's going to drop faster than Tony Romo did last night... oooh! Altoona FINALLY caught a break and I am so proud of myself that I actually came through with a guarantee... so now I'm like 1 of 4 so I am officially done predicting since I came out on top. My team picture of Wallys Warriors must have gotten to his head because he was probably thinking... "Dang it, I wish I was that young again... oh where the years have gone!" Last but not least there are five 3-4 teams and five 4-3 teams. It's starting to look like a complete cluster... fudge (I saved that one). EVERYBODY is alive... yes even you Giants Rule. But not you red moon cards..... because I said so.
NOW onto MID-SEASON GRADES... (I hope you guys have been studying!) (Lets do this in the order of league standings)
1. Da MoUnTaInEeRz: Right off the bat you lose a "+" just for all the Z's and upper/lower case letters you made me type right there. I don't want to assume anything but that "relationship" with him and his girl must be on the ropes... I mean whatever it takes to win, right? 5-2 and in first, but has a tough road ahead. Will make playoffs as top 4 seed... but will NOT win another ring. Grade: A-
2. NITTANY LIONS: 6 teams behind the commish have more points. 2 game losing streak and his entire team is on bye this week... which will be 3 in a row. Things are looking down but at least he has those 5 lucky wins underneath his belt. Making the playoffs will be a stretch... but he probably will because his team is simply amazing... but he won't be able to flash his 3 rings in my and Mean Machine's faces because this is not his year either. Grade: C
3. Madison Hedgecocks: Madison Hedgecock himself is pretty much the backup now at fullback for the Giants; which could only be bad news for this squad. Highest scoring team in the league who DOES NOT HAVE ONE TOP 3 FINISH. So he will make the playoffs and lose in the 3rd place game... and if for some reason he wins the whole thing... I will have a column for his simply stunning poems in my blog next year... that's a promise! Please please please don't let that happen... but once again, 0... goose egg top 3 finishes, so I got nothing to worry about. Grade: B+
4. DIRTY HARRY: Solid team, good guy, BUT Romo is out for 6-8 weeks.... Uh-Oh Dirty.... this may be a team that nose dives and finds himself in the 10th place. Grade: B-
5. Wallys Warriors: Didn't feel like going through all those lower case/capital letters non sense again. Two game losing streak but he has that killer baby on his side... as long as his future opponents don't post a picture of him in their matchup... this team is fine. Grade: B
6. Mean Machine: Also a two game losing streak... but a solid team. BUT I see a nose dive in this teams future as well... watch out Paul Crewe. Playoffs seed 6-8; Grade: B
7. One Man Wolfpack: 4-3... will probably make playoffs but too inconsistent and will lose in first round. Also I take back what I said about your name... I gave you credit for the name but I did my research and you took the name right after the movie... so shame on you. Still in the View's Doghouse... with no company as of yet. But I hear you're getting comfy in there. Grade: C+
8. Viva Espana: ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~. Has a shot. Grade: B-
9. Altoona Giants: The one and only... solid team, solid guy, all around awesomeness. Altoona once agian has faith and is getting ready for this tough stretch of games. This team will make the playoffs and has a solid shot a his first ever RING... so when I win it I can put it on my middle finger and flash it to you commish. Mean Machine would get a kick out of that one... I got your back Crewe. Grade: B+
10. Crazy Fools: Can never get a good read on this team. Will make the playoffs... it's just not possible for him not to. But once again, will NOT win another ring. But he may also get caught in the cluster fudge... but if he makes the post season... will not win another ring. Grade: B
11. Shake N' Bake: Came out of coma this week but I don't see playoffs in his future... will scrape 9th but that's it for the rookie. Grade: C
12. red moon cards: Had a lucky week last week but pretty below average team... prob won't be back next season... what?... Did I say something?? No.... Grade: C-
13. Alaska Ice Bashers. He has two wins, let's give him a hand... not 1 but 2.... wow. Grade: A+
14. Giants Rule: Yeah he got another win... but it's gonna be hard to climb up... but I see a rally that will fall short. Oh yeah, this team ALSO DOES NOT HAVE ONE TOP 3 finish... just like Hedgecocks... Grade: D+
To sum things up... there will be a first time champ this season.
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That is all, good luck the rest of the way.... come back FRIDAY for the Week 8 PREVIEW.
I'm trying to keep this recap short so I can get to the grades... (so don't get upset if you get short changed... you will in the grades), but here are some note worthy notes... the #1 team in the league lost 2 IN A ROW now... he's going to drop faster than Tony Romo did last night... oooh! Altoona FINALLY caught a break and I am so proud of myself that I actually came through with a guarantee... so now I'm like 1 of 4 so I am officially done predicting since I came out on top. My team picture of Wallys Warriors must have gotten to his head because he was probably thinking... "Dang it, I wish I was that young again... oh where the years have gone!" Last but not least there are five 3-4 teams and five 4-3 teams. It's starting to look like a complete cluster... fudge (I saved that one). EVERYBODY is alive... yes even you Giants Rule. But not you red moon cards..... because I said so.
NOW onto MID-SEASON GRADES... (I hope you guys have been studying!) (Lets do this in the order of league standings)
1. Da MoUnTaInEeRz: Right off the bat you lose a "+" just for all the Z's and upper/lower case letters you made me type right there. I don't want to assume anything but that "relationship" with him and his girl must be on the ropes... I mean whatever it takes to win, right? 5-2 and in first, but has a tough road ahead. Will make playoffs as top 4 seed... but will NOT win another ring. Grade: A-
2. NITTANY LIONS: 6 teams behind the commish have more points. 2 game losing streak and his entire team is on bye this week... which will be 3 in a row. Things are looking down but at least he has those 5 lucky wins underneath his belt. Making the playoffs will be a stretch... but he probably will because his team is simply amazing... but he won't be able to flash his 3 rings in my and Mean Machine's faces because this is not his year either. Grade: C
3. Madison Hedgecocks: Madison Hedgecock himself is pretty much the backup now at fullback for the Giants; which could only be bad news for this squad. Highest scoring team in the league who DOES NOT HAVE ONE TOP 3 FINISH. So he will make the playoffs and lose in the 3rd place game... and if for some reason he wins the whole thing... I will have a column for his simply stunning poems in my blog next year... that's a promise! Please please please don't let that happen... but once again, 0... goose egg top 3 finishes, so I got nothing to worry about. Grade: B+
4. DIRTY HARRY: Solid team, good guy, BUT Romo is out for 6-8 weeks.... Uh-Oh Dirty.... this may be a team that nose dives and finds himself in the 10th place. Grade: B-
5. Wallys Warriors: Didn't feel like going through all those lower case/capital letters non sense again. Two game losing streak but he has that killer baby on his side... as long as his future opponents don't post a picture of him in their matchup... this team is fine. Grade: B
6. Mean Machine: Also a two game losing streak... but a solid team. BUT I see a nose dive in this teams future as well... watch out Paul Crewe. Playoffs seed 6-8; Grade: B
7. One Man Wolfpack: 4-3... will probably make playoffs but too inconsistent and will lose in first round. Also I take back what I said about your name... I gave you credit for the name but I did my research and you took the name right after the movie... so shame on you. Still in the View's Doghouse... with no company as of yet. But I hear you're getting comfy in there. Grade: C+
8. Viva Espana: ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~. Has a shot. Grade: B-
9. Altoona Giants: The one and only... solid team, solid guy, all around awesomeness. Altoona once agian has faith and is getting ready for this tough stretch of games. This team will make the playoffs and has a solid shot a his first ever RING... so when I win it I can put it on my middle finger and flash it to you commish. Mean Machine would get a kick out of that one... I got your back Crewe. Grade: B+
10. Crazy Fools: Can never get a good read on this team. Will make the playoffs... it's just not possible for him not to. But once again, will NOT win another ring. But he may also get caught in the cluster fudge... but if he makes the post season... will not win another ring. Grade: B
11. Shake N' Bake: Came out of coma this week but I don't see playoffs in his future... will scrape 9th but that's it for the rookie. Grade: C
12. red moon cards: Had a lucky week last week but pretty below average team... prob won't be back next season... what?... Did I say something?? No.... Grade: C-
13. Alaska Ice Bashers. He has two wins, let's give him a hand... not 1 but 2.... wow. Grade: A+
14. Giants Rule: Yeah he got another win... but it's gonna be hard to climb up... but I see a rally that will fall short. Oh yeah, this team ALSO DOES NOT HAVE ONE TOP 3 finish... just like Hedgecocks... Grade: D+
To sum things up... there will be a first time champ this season.
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That is all, good luck the rest of the way.... come back FRIDAY for the Week 8 PREVIEW.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Week 7 preVIEW
It is week 7 and before I go through the matchups, I would like to give the commish a warm golf clap for actually selecting the right matchup that deserves to be under the title "Game of the Week." But I would be very impressed if you make yourself the G.O.T.W sometime in the near future and just maybe I'll give you a standing ovation... but I don't think you have the walnuts to put yourself in the spotlight.
Ok... week 7 time...
Alaska Ice Bashers v. One Man Wolfpack: I would literally LOL (laugh out loud or have lots of laughs, whatever your heart desires) if the Bashers win this game. 89% of his team, Peyton Manning is on bye. There must be even more panic in Alaska than usual... which must be a scary sight to see. The all-star Chad Henne who EVERYBODY wishes they had on their team will lead Alaska into a brutal defeat... I predict a total of 71 points for his squad. Wolfpack if you lose, you will never come out of the View's doghouse.
Giants Rule!!!!!!!...!!! v. NITTANY LIONS: Still in first place, (lucky S.O.B) the Lions will be praying all day Sunday and Monday night that the #14 (last) (last place) Giants Rule don't upset their "top"(literally, yes... but C'mon) team. The commish just wants to avoid the possibility of being that OTHER guy, next to his better looking brother, to lose to this horrid team that doesn't "Rule!!!". The Lions will win this game but it will be closer than the experts think. But the View will be waiting for the opportunity to have a grand old time if in fact the #14 defeats the #1... and it would be more than an LOL, it would be more like a ROFLMFAO. The possibilities are endless. :)
Altoona Giants v. Wallys Warriors (zzz): Will this be the week the Giants FINALLY catch a break? Wally's has a few key guys on bye week BUT somehow and some way they will put up their highest score of the season and put Altoona even deeper in the shitter... the city and the team. BUT I have a good feeling about this week and I WILL win. Yes this may be the last time I predict a win for myself... I have to be right once, no? But if my Tom Brady throws to the 5'6 white Danny Woodhead for TD's I may just have to hop a flight to New England and cut Tom's Justin Bieber hair.
red moon cards v. Viva Es panana~~: What can I possibly say about this matchup?..... Go get'em?...
DIRTY HARRY v. Da Mountaineerz: This is indeed going to shape up to be a steller game BUT the Dirty will win because this is what West Virginians do....best.... http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5706081
CrazyFools v. Shake N' Bake: Even though Shake is in some kind of fantasy football coma and scored like 80 points last week, I see a lucky victory over the Fools, which will help the Altoona Giants out, so don't screw this up, Shake!
Mean Machine v. Madison Hedgecocks: I can't even fathom reading another poem. I didn't even want to mention it again, but I just had to. I'd rather sit in my garage and watch paint dry for 8 hours than read another short sonnet written by the Hedges. Even tho the Machine are crippling with byes, they will beat the Hedges, who will score their least points on the year to date. I see a 88-86 nail biter.
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That is all... good luck this week (maybe being nice to others in one way will help me out) and make sure you come back TUESDAY when I RECAP week 7.
Ok... week 7 time...
Alaska Ice Bashers v. One Man Wolfpack: I would literally LOL (laugh out loud or have lots of laughs, whatever your heart desires) if the Bashers win this game. 89% of his team, Peyton Manning is on bye. There must be even more panic in Alaska than usual... which must be a scary sight to see. The all-star Chad Henne who EVERYBODY wishes they had on their team will lead Alaska into a brutal defeat... I predict a total of 71 points for his squad. Wolfpack if you lose, you will never come out of the View's doghouse.
Giants Rule!!!!!!!...!!! v. NITTANY LIONS: Still in first place, (lucky S.O.B) the Lions will be praying all day Sunday and Monday night that the #14 (last) (last place) Giants Rule don't upset their "top"(literally, yes... but C'mon) team. The commish just wants to avoid the possibility of being that OTHER guy, next to his better looking brother, to lose to this horrid team that doesn't "Rule!!!". The Lions will win this game but it will be closer than the experts think. But the View will be waiting for the opportunity to have a grand old time if in fact the #14 defeats the #1... and it would be more than an LOL, it would be more like a ROFLMFAO. The possibilities are endless. :)
Altoona Giants v. Wallys Warriors (zzz): Will this be the week the Giants FINALLY catch a break? Wally's has a few key guys on bye week BUT somehow and some way they will put up their highest score of the season and put Altoona even deeper in the shitter... the city and the team. BUT I have a good feeling about this week and I WILL win. Yes this may be the last time I predict a win for myself... I have to be right once, no? But if my Tom Brady throws to the 5'6 white Danny Woodhead for TD's I may just have to hop a flight to New England and cut Tom's Justin Bieber hair.
red moon cards v. Viva Es panana~~: What can I possibly say about this matchup?..... Go get'em?...
DIRTY HARRY v. Da Mountaineerz: This is indeed going to shape up to be a steller game BUT the Dirty will win because this is what West Virginians do....best.... http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5706081
CrazyFools v. Shake N' Bake: Even though Shake is in some kind of fantasy football coma and scored like 80 points last week, I see a lucky victory over the Fools, which will help the Altoona Giants out, so don't screw this up, Shake!
Mean Machine v. Madison Hedgecocks: I can't even fathom reading another poem. I didn't even want to mention it again, but I just had to. I'd rather sit in my garage and watch paint dry for 8 hours than read another short sonnet written by the Hedges. Even tho the Machine are crippling with byes, they will beat the Hedges, who will score their least points on the year to date. I see a 88-86 nail biter.
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That is all... good luck this week (maybe being nice to others in one way will help me out) and make sure you come back TUESDAY when I RECAP week 7.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Week 6, wave goodbye...
A very interesting week indeed... so lets get right to it...
The one and only NITTANY LIONS led by their fearless leader in the commish FINALLY lost a game. You thought you could avoid the pressure since you didn't make yourself the game of the week... but not so fast. But the major buzz-kill of this headliner is that the (not so) rhyme master, Madison Hedgecocks gave the first place team their first loss. And you guessed it... another poem was written (God help us......please). This time I don't even think there was one rhyme... but the best part about it was that it wasn't about the good ole Altoona View this time around. The LIONS now get to join the party of those fortunate enough to receive such a wonderful piece of literature written to make us look like fools... but now that this is your 2ND (second) poem... the tables are indeed turning... I mean one poem was good enough (not really) but you gave us the opportunity to make fun of a SECOND poem. And by the way, I like how you said the View isn't a hater.... I am GULPING the Haterade by the gallon. Anywho... it was refreshing seeing the commish finally go down, even if there was another poem written afterward.
Viva E~~spna~~ showed Wallys Warriors what type of player he was this week putting up a league high 161 points. I guess Wallys should go back in time and maybe putt Viva in for a least a few minutes at their next travel basketball game and not let him sit on the bench. But Viva knew while sitting on that hard bleacher they call a bench that deep down in 14 years he shall get revenge.... it was a long time coming... but it was so worth it.
The "game of the week" that the commish was so high on was the result everybody and their grandmas saw coming.... a big brother stomping on his little brother (even though Da Mounts is shorter... ha ha!) in a blowout victory. Remember, Giants Rule wasn't playing the Altoona Giants, so they came out and played their best brand of football... scoring under 90 points. At 1-5, Giants Rule is pretty much done for... with only 573 total points in 6 weeks.... (btw, he scored 124 against me... I know... wtf?)
Speaking of the Altoona Giants... I am proud to say that I am apart of the "2" win club alongside the Alaska Ice Bashers (who made sure I knew I was as bad as him in a text message) and 2 other awesome teams. I guess having the 2nd most points against in the league will put me at 2-4 even if I have more points than the 1st place NITTANY LIONS. I can bitch about it all I want... but I'll save you from that suffering.... I will just quietly die inside.... but I guess DIRTY HARRY took a tip from Clint Eastwood and completely let the dogs loose scoring 151.
Now that I mentioned them, Alaska won their 2nd game ever... making their record a stunning 2-18 overall (I actaully called this one in the preview). Shake had no Bake this week by only scoring 84 points.... and he would have lost to the powerhouse Giants Rule by .10. So this win shouldn't get you too giddy Bashers... but I guess you'll take anything you can get with your splendid history.
Last and certainly least... One Man Wolfpack got a win over a solid team that only scored 97. I am starting to mention you too much, One Man! Don't get used to it...
Oh, and CrazyFools won and is in 8th place... oh shucks. Those glasses are getting to all of us...
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That is all, please join me on FRIDAY for the WEEK 7 PREVIEW.
The one and only NITTANY LIONS led by their fearless leader in the commish FINALLY lost a game. You thought you could avoid the pressure since you didn't make yourself the game of the week... but not so fast. But the major buzz-kill of this headliner is that the (not so) rhyme master, Madison Hedgecocks gave the first place team their first loss. And you guessed it... another poem was written (God help us......please). This time I don't even think there was one rhyme... but the best part about it was that it wasn't about the good ole Altoona View this time around. The LIONS now get to join the party of those fortunate enough to receive such a wonderful piece of literature written to make us look like fools... but now that this is your 2ND (second) poem... the tables are indeed turning... I mean one poem was good enough (not really) but you gave us the opportunity to make fun of a SECOND poem. And by the way, I like how you said the View isn't a hater.... I am GULPING the Haterade by the gallon. Anywho... it was refreshing seeing the commish finally go down, even if there was another poem written afterward.
Viva E~~spna~~ showed Wallys Warriors what type of player he was this week putting up a league high 161 points. I guess Wallys should go back in time and maybe putt Viva in for a least a few minutes at their next travel basketball game and not let him sit on the bench. But Viva knew while sitting on that hard bleacher they call a bench that deep down in 14 years he shall get revenge.... it was a long time coming... but it was so worth it.
The "game of the week" that the commish was so high on was the result everybody and their grandmas saw coming.... a big brother stomping on his little brother (even though Da Mounts is shorter... ha ha!) in a blowout victory. Remember, Giants Rule wasn't playing the Altoona Giants, so they came out and played their best brand of football... scoring under 90 points. At 1-5, Giants Rule is pretty much done for... with only 573 total points in 6 weeks.... (btw, he scored 124 against me... I know... wtf?)
Speaking of the Altoona Giants... I am proud to say that I am apart of the "2" win club alongside the Alaska Ice Bashers (who made sure I knew I was as bad as him in a text message) and 2 other awesome teams. I guess having the 2nd most points against in the league will put me at 2-4 even if I have more points than the 1st place NITTANY LIONS. I can bitch about it all I want... but I'll save you from that suffering.... I will just quietly die inside.... but I guess DIRTY HARRY took a tip from Clint Eastwood and completely let the dogs loose scoring 151.
Now that I mentioned them, Alaska won their 2nd game ever... making their record a stunning 2-18 overall (I actaully called this one in the preview). Shake had no Bake this week by only scoring 84 points.... and he would have lost to the powerhouse Giants Rule by .10. So this win shouldn't get you too giddy Bashers... but I guess you'll take anything you can get with your splendid history.
Last and certainly least... One Man Wolfpack got a win over a solid team that only scored 97. I am starting to mention you too much, One Man! Don't get used to it...
Oh, and CrazyFools won and is in 8th place... oh shucks. Those glasses are getting to all of us...
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That is all, please join me on FRIDAY for the WEEK 7 PREVIEW.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Week 6 is here...
Before I preview every matchup this week... I just want to throw it out there that those cute weekly notes that the commish puts up every week is like the Disney rated PG version of The Altoona View. We aren't quite NC-17, but we are rated R because we don't hold back and we don't try to cover our asses in case all hell breaks loose... you will understand what I am talking about... right....
NOW....
NITTANY LIONS v. "I'm going to write a poem" Hedgecocks:
Not only are the Lions undefeated and 5-0, but the Hedges are the highest scoring team in the league. So NATURALLY that makes it the weekly notes game of the week, correct? No, not at all. Instead of making his game the obvious GOTW, he makes the battle of the Light brothers the feature game which will result in a blood bath unless the Apocalypse comes around for the 2nd straight week. Any who... the Lions think they can fly under the radar and not put any pressure on himself because it's not like they are ontop of the standings or anything. This is just a formal warning to you commish... when you do infact lose... the View shall be waiting and it is going to be a grand ole time to be a blogger. But this day will probably never come because no matter what I say, the Lions have the ability to "fix" some small stats every now and then so he can get those 2 point wins.....But Hedge, if you do win... I think a poem is necessary because he writes weekly notes and you should mention how he should stop covering his ass. Just some thoughts, I don't want to stomp on your poem writing skills... (lol)
Wally's Warroirs v. Viva ~~~ Es~~pana: #3 vs. #7 should be a solid battle. But this matchup is a little more personal than the average matchup... probably not known by most people... it's actaully pretty serious. When Viva was a young buck, he played on Wally's travel basketball team. Word on the street is that Wally only played Viva when they were up at least 25 points, AND with less than 4 minutes left in the game. Viva always thought he was more of a 6th man, and not that 13th man that really shouldn't of have been on the roster but daddy threw a couple of bucks toward Wally's way. So in conclusion, I bet Viva is ready to show Wally that he deserved to play more than 3 minutes a season... so expect a close tight finish. But Wally is out to prove that taking pictures is more important than coaching!
Giants Rule !!!!!!!!!! vs. Da Mounts!!!!!!!!!!: Brother with history vs. that other brother with not so good history!!! I see this game being closer than the experts think!!! LOL, jk he isn' playing Altoona so the Giants Rule will get curb stomped!!! (Looks very painful btw, YouTube it!!!) This game will take Giants Rule out of playoff contention and he will battle with Alaska for the best of the worst the rest of the way!!! By the way... those exclamation points kinda get annoying after a while, right!!!???
Altoona Giants v. DIRTY HARRY: How much lower can I bring myself and how much more of an idioit can I make myself sound at this point? I frankly do not care... so what the hell... I am ready to get down and DIRTY (I am not lame... maybe a little) and beat this solid team. But that WASN'T a guarantee so hopefully the fantasy football gods are looking over Altoona this week because God knows nobody else is looking over this ... "awesome" city.
Mean Machine v. Wolfpack: Paul Crewe and company look to go 5-1 with a win this Sunday, while every time he chats with me he seems to think he will lose every week. Is 130 points on average not enough for you, Machine? I mean it's not like you are the Bashers and put up 46 consistently. So take a chill pill, have a beer and enjoy your solid team.... but don't fall asleep on you chair while your team is winning.
Alaska v. Shake N' Bake: Alaska was back to his old self and lost again... something he is better at than everyone else. So that means he will... WIN this week. Yes, a 1-18 team will get career win #2 and Shake N' Bake will begin to freak out... if he isn't in a comma and knows what is going on. Word on the street is that he is in other leagues... which is a SIN and you shall burn in fantasy football hell for this... Shake.
Crazy Fools v. red moon cards: Both 2-3, I don't know how. red moon's team is on the crappy side of mediocre and Crazy lost to Alaska. So this is a toss up but Crazy will win because red moon is probably in a comma somewhere as well and I am convinced Crazy does this on purpose every year. So watch out.
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That is all... please come back when I RECAP this week on TUESDAY
NOW....
NITTANY LIONS v. "I'm going to write a poem" Hedgecocks:
Not only are the Lions undefeated and 5-0, but the Hedges are the highest scoring team in the league. So NATURALLY that makes it the weekly notes game of the week, correct? No, not at all. Instead of making his game the obvious GOTW, he makes the battle of the Light brothers the feature game which will result in a blood bath unless the Apocalypse comes around for the 2nd straight week. Any who... the Lions think they can fly under the radar and not put any pressure on himself because it's not like they are ontop of the standings or anything. This is just a formal warning to you commish... when you do infact lose... the View shall be waiting and it is going to be a grand ole time to be a blogger. But this day will probably never come because no matter what I say, the Lions have the ability to "fix" some small stats every now and then so he can get those 2 point wins.....But Hedge, if you do win... I think a poem is necessary because he writes weekly notes and you should mention how he should stop covering his ass. Just some thoughts, I don't want to stomp on your poem writing skills... (lol)
Wally's Warroirs v. Viva ~~~ Es~~pana: #3 vs. #7 should be a solid battle. But this matchup is a little more personal than the average matchup... probably not known by most people... it's actaully pretty serious. When Viva was a young buck, he played on Wally's travel basketball team. Word on the street is that Wally only played Viva when they were up at least 25 points, AND with less than 4 minutes left in the game. Viva always thought he was more of a 6th man, and not that 13th man that really shouldn't of have been on the roster but daddy threw a couple of bucks toward Wally's way. So in conclusion, I bet Viva is ready to show Wally that he deserved to play more than 3 minutes a season... so expect a close tight finish. But Wally is out to prove that taking pictures is more important than coaching!
Giants Rule !!!!!!!!!! vs. Da Mounts!!!!!!!!!!: Brother with history vs. that other brother with not so good history!!! I see this game being closer than the experts think!!! LOL, jk he isn' playing Altoona so the Giants Rule will get curb stomped!!! (Looks very painful btw, YouTube it!!!) This game will take Giants Rule out of playoff contention and he will battle with Alaska for the best of the worst the rest of the way!!! By the way... those exclamation points kinda get annoying after a while, right!!!???
Altoona Giants v. DIRTY HARRY: How much lower can I bring myself and how much more of an idioit can I make myself sound at this point? I frankly do not care... so what the hell... I am ready to get down and DIRTY (I am not lame... maybe a little) and beat this solid team. But that WASN'T a guarantee so hopefully the fantasy football gods are looking over Altoona this week because God knows nobody else is looking over this ... "awesome" city.
Mean Machine v. Wolfpack: Paul Crewe and company look to go 5-1 with a win this Sunday, while every time he chats with me he seems to think he will lose every week. Is 130 points on average not enough for you, Machine? I mean it's not like you are the Bashers and put up 46 consistently. So take a chill pill, have a beer and enjoy your solid team.... but don't fall asleep on you chair while your team is winning.
Alaska v. Shake N' Bake: Alaska was back to his old self and lost again... something he is better at than everyone else. So that means he will... WIN this week. Yes, a 1-18 team will get career win #2 and Shake N' Bake will begin to freak out... if he isn't in a comma and knows what is going on. Word on the street is that he is in other leagues... which is a SIN and you shall burn in fantasy football hell for this... Shake.
Crazy Fools v. red moon cards: Both 2-3, I don't know how. red moon's team is on the crappy side of mediocre and Crazy lost to Alaska. So this is a toss up but Crazy will win because red moon is probably in a comma somewhere as well and I am convinced Crazy does this on purpose every year. So watch out.
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That is all... please come back when I RECAP this week on TUESDAY
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Week 5 CAP
Ok, lets get this over with... yes I did indeed guarantee a win... and no I did not come through... again. The worst team in the league... Giants Rule!!!, that averages 80 points/week decides to turn it on and score 124. I'm going to call up Alex Smith this week to heckle him for being the best QB ever and practically handing Quintin Mikell the ball for a TD. But that's besides the point, I just hope I don't have to add to the "Lovers of the View" poem column to your right. In result to this embarrassing loss to an 0-4 team that has never finished 3rd or better got The Altoona View's main sponsor very upset... Tom Kruse of Hoveround Power Chair personally called me today and ended our long business relationship of 3 months.
I shall not forget this defeat... yes it is a painful day in Altoona and to lift my spirits I received multiple texts from various teams (that I shall not mention because it will come back to bite ya) in the league congratulating me on my awfulness. But one text stuck out to me and made me feel a whole lot better... when the Alaska Ice Bashers of all people in the world attempted to make fun of the Altoona Giants... I couldn't help but laugh... I mean does a 1-18 team have the right to do that? Don't let A win get to your head Alaska... win 2 in a row then I'll give ya some leeway... close to none. So to conclude this horrific performance... I will say that I am THAT guy to lose to the final winless team... but at least I wasn't THAT guy to lose to an 0-17 team... THAT never gets old!
In other news... the NITTANY LIONS are still undefeated. I apologize to me readers... I tried, tried and tried to jinx his entire team on the preview... but of course they found a way to win and are still unbeaten... with less points than the 8th place team. But that's besides the point... and good thing Danny Woodhead isn't on the roster anymore because I would really dislike having the team name "I'm a GIANT douche."
One Man Wolfpack... thanks for the shout out and attempt to impress The View (Trying to give the Altoona View something to write about this week lol) ... but you have failed us and you are now in the View's Doghouse... which was just created this second. I think of good ideas mid sentence. I do condone you on your name though... you had that before "The Hangover" made that saying popular. So kudos... but still... doghouse.
There were other exciting macthups, I'm sure... but I only preview all, I'd rather not recap all. But maybe some day that shall happen.
But until then... I hope you enjoyed... be sure to come back FRIDAY for the WEEK 6 PREVIEW.
I shall not forget this defeat... yes it is a painful day in Altoona and to lift my spirits I received multiple texts from various teams (that I shall not mention because it will come back to bite ya) in the league congratulating me on my awfulness. But one text stuck out to me and made me feel a whole lot better... when the Alaska Ice Bashers of all people in the world attempted to make fun of the Altoona Giants... I couldn't help but laugh... I mean does a 1-18 team have the right to do that? Don't let A win get to your head Alaska... win 2 in a row then I'll give ya some leeway... close to none. So to conclude this horrific performance... I will say that I am THAT guy to lose to the final winless team... but at least I wasn't THAT guy to lose to an 0-17 team... THAT never gets old!
In other news... the NITTANY LIONS are still undefeated. I apologize to me readers... I tried, tried and tried to jinx his entire team on the preview... but of course they found a way to win and are still unbeaten... with less points than the 8th place team. But that's besides the point... and good thing Danny Woodhead isn't on the roster anymore because I would really dislike having the team name "I'm a GIANT douche."
One Man Wolfpack... thanks for the shout out and attempt to impress The View (Trying to give the Altoona View something to write about this week lol) ... but you have failed us and you are now in the View's Doghouse... which was just created this second. I think of good ideas mid sentence. I do condone you on your name though... you had that before "The Hangover" made that saying popular. So kudos... but still... doghouse.
There were other exciting macthups, I'm sure... but I only preview all, I'd rather not recap all. But maybe some day that shall happen.
But until then... I hope you enjoyed... be sure to come back FRIDAY for the WEEK 6 PREVIEW.
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