To quote the commish himself, "It was bizarro world" this week in the league... with the #14 beating #1 (NITTANY LIONS, the commish, Michael Moore... welcome to the loser club alongside your better looking and taller younger brother), and #12 and #11 winning as well. The Bashers would have made it even more of a bizarre week but somehow they managed to lose after being up a ton after Sunday. I predicted 71 points for Alaska, but they go out and score a season-high WITHOUT Peyton Manning. I am such a physic that I predicted that knowing it was going to be the bizarro week... so props to me. The Bashers told me he personally called Tom Coughlin last night during the game to tell him to run the ball a bit more... Couglin said and I quote, "Nobody likes Alaska you jack-wagon... go play pond hockey and never call me again... and by the way, Tedy Bruschi... really?!?" Harsh Tom, but he must have stubbed his toe or something right before the call... that shit hurts.
I'm trying to keep this recap short so I can get to the grades... (so don't get upset if you get short changed... you will in the grades), but here are some note worthy notes... the #1 team in the league lost 2 IN A ROW now... he's going to drop faster than Tony Romo did last night... oooh! Altoona FINALLY caught a break and I am so proud of myself that I actually came through with a guarantee... so now I'm like 1 of 4 so I am officially done predicting since I came out on top. My team picture of Wallys Warriors must have gotten to his head because he was probably thinking... "Dang it, I wish I was that young again... oh where the years have gone!" Last but not least there are five 3-4 teams and five 4-3 teams. It's starting to look like a complete cluster... fudge (I saved that one). EVERYBODY is alive... yes even you Giants Rule. But not you red moon cards..... because I said so.
NOW onto MID-SEASON GRADES... (I hope you guys have been studying!) (Lets do this in the order of league standings)
1. Da MoUnTaInEeRz: Right off the bat you lose a "+" just for all the Z's and upper/lower case letters you made me type right there. I don't want to assume anything but that "relationship" with him and his girl must be on the ropes... I mean whatever it takes to win, right? 5-2 and in first, but has a tough road ahead. Will make playoffs as top 4 seed... but will NOT win another ring. Grade: A-
2. NITTANY LIONS: 6 teams behind the commish have more points. 2 game losing streak and his entire team is on bye this week... which will be 3 in a row. Things are looking down but at least he has those 5 lucky wins underneath his belt. Making the playoffs will be a stretch... but he probably will because his team is simply amazing... but he won't be able to flash his 3 rings in my and Mean Machine's faces because this is not his year either. Grade: C
3. Madison Hedgecocks: Madison Hedgecock himself is pretty much the backup now at fullback for the Giants; which could only be bad news for this squad. Highest scoring team in the league who DOES NOT HAVE ONE TOP 3 FINISH. So he will make the playoffs and lose in the 3rd place game... and if for some reason he wins the whole thing... I will have a column for his simply stunning poems in my blog next year... that's a promise! Please please please don't let that happen... but once again, 0... goose egg top 3 finishes, so I got nothing to worry about. Grade: B+
4. DIRTY HARRY: Solid team, good guy, BUT Romo is out for 6-8 weeks.... Uh-Oh Dirty.... this may be a team that nose dives and finds himself in the 10th place. Grade: B-
5. Wallys Warriors: Didn't feel like going through all those lower case/capital letters non sense again. Two game losing streak but he has that killer baby on his side... as long as his future opponents don't post a picture of him in their matchup... this team is fine. Grade: B
6. Mean Machine: Also a two game losing streak... but a solid team. BUT I see a nose dive in this teams future as well... watch out Paul Crewe. Playoffs seed 6-8; Grade: B
7. One Man Wolfpack: 4-3... will probably make playoffs but too inconsistent and will lose in first round. Also I take back what I said about your name... I gave you credit for the name but I did my research and you took the name right after the movie... so shame on you. Still in the View's Doghouse... with no company as of yet. But I hear you're getting comfy in there. Grade: C+
8. Viva Espana: ~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~. Has a shot. Grade: B-
9. Altoona Giants: The one and only... solid team, solid guy, all around awesomeness. Altoona once agian has faith and is getting ready for this tough stretch of games. This team will make the playoffs and has a solid shot a his first ever RING... so when I win it I can put it on my middle finger and flash it to you commish. Mean Machine would get a kick out of that one... I got your back Crewe. Grade: B+
10. Crazy Fools: Can never get a good read on this team. Will make the playoffs... it's just not possible for him not to. But once again, will NOT win another ring. But he may also get caught in the cluster fudge... but if he makes the post season... will not win another ring. Grade: B
11. Shake N' Bake: Came out of coma this week but I don't see playoffs in his future... will scrape 9th but that's it for the rookie. Grade: C
12. red moon cards: Had a lucky week last week but pretty below average team... prob won't be back next season... what?... Did I say something?? No.... Grade: C-
13. Alaska Ice Bashers. He has two wins, let's give him a hand... not 1 but 2.... wow. Grade: A+
14. Giants Rule: Yeah he got another win... but it's gonna be hard to climb up... but I see a rally that will fall short. Oh yeah, this team ALSO DOES NOT HAVE ONE TOP 3 finish... just like Hedgecocks... Grade: D+
To sum things up... there will be a first time champ this season.
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That is all, good luck the rest of the way.... come back FRIDAY for the Week 8 PREVIEW.
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